Online Jokes

I've taken up online yoga since the COVID-19 outbreak started.
It helps me namaste at home.
This Corona virus is a blessing
My wife doesn't want to travel anywhere.

She no longer buys anything online, since everything comes from China.

she doesn't go to the mall to avoid the crowds.

she spends all of her time in a mask with her mouth closed.

Best thing that has ever happened to me.
Are you the online order I placed a few days ago? Cause I’ve been waiting for you all day.
How Much Do You Charge? A man finds himself in need of a good lawyer. He finds one online and goes to his office. After being allowed inside, he sits across from the lawyer. He needs legal help, but he wants to make sure he can afford it first. “Can you tell me how much you charge?” he asks. “Of course,” the lawyer replies, “I charge $800 to answer three questions.” The man was alarmed. “Don’t you think that’s an awful lot of money to answer three questions?” He inquired. “Yes it is”, answers the lawyer, “What’s your third question?”
I accidentally mixed up the words 'Jacuzzi' and 'Yakuza' online.
Now I'm in hot water with the Japanese Mafia.
I ran out of deodorant.
I guess I'll go online and odor some more.
“The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your credit card from your purse.”
Unknown
I ordered the wrong kind of flowers online for Valentines Day.
Oops e-daisies.
During the pandemic, all the children asked to draw pictures of the different types of grass. The children had to submit their grass-essments online.
I have no problem getting dates online. I’ve also had luck with almonds, cashews, and walnuts.
A woman tried to order an exotic snake online, but was surprised to find that when the package arrived, it contained only feathered scarves.
I used to store motivational quotes that I found online, onto the cloud, for whenever I needed some inspiration.
Unfortunately I forgot the password for my Google account.
I have no Drive.
Why did the blonde give up online shopping?
The trolley kept falling off the computer.
I bought a bunch of antique spears online, but they arrived without their spear heads.
I got shafted.
My wife wants to start selling kitchenware online.
I just don't see it panning out.
What online search engine do spooky monsters use?
Ghoulghoul.
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