Much Jokes

“I thought I’d become an actress, but then I realized I eat too much.”
― Chelsea Handler
"I'll have a double cappuccino, half-caf, non-fat milk, with enough foam to be aesthetically pleasing, but not so much that it would leave a mustache."
— Niles Crane
I like you about 1/18 as much as I like a Pumpkin Spice Latte, which is to say “I love you forever, let’s get married.”
Milk does the body good, but damn how much did you drink?
“You drink too much. Cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You’re everything I ever wanted in a friend.”
— Unknown
“We’ll be best friends forever because you already know too much.”
— Unknown
Girl you're like my favorite Spotify playlist... No matter how much I wander I'd always come back to you.
"There's lots of people in this world who spend so much time watching their health that they haven't the time to enjoy it." - Josh Billings
"Men make use of their illnesses at least as much as they are made use of by them." - Aldous Huxley
I'm wearing green, you're wearing green, we have so much in common we should go out sometime.
Over quarantine, I’ve really gotten into gardening. I am especially enamored with growing chard varieties. So much so I’ve written a book of poems about their taproots.
I hope to one day be recognized as the beet poet of our generation!
"Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now you tell me what you know."
Do you breathe oxygen? We have so much in common.
I heard milk does the body good, but man, how much have you been drinking?
You can count on the stars, but you can’t ever count on how much I miss you.
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