Much Jokes

“I thought I’d become an actress, but then I realized I eat too much.”
― Chelsea Handler
"I'll have a double cappuccino, half-caf, non-fat milk, with enough foam to be aesthetically pleasing, but not so much that it would leave a mustache."
— Niles Crane
I'm wearing green, you're wearing green, we have so much in common we should go out sometime.
Do you breathe oxygen? We have so much in common.
Over quarantine, I’ve really gotten into gardening. I am especially enamored with growing chard varieties. So much so I’ve written a book of poems about their taproots.
I hope to one day be recognized as the beet poet of our generation!
“You drink too much. Cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You’re everything I ever wanted in a friend.”
— Unknown
“We’ll be best friends forever because you already know too much.”
— Unknown
You can count on the stars, but you can’t ever count on how much I miss you.
Girl you're like my favorite Spotify playlist... No matter how much I wander I'd always come back to you.
Milk does the body good, but damn how much did you drink?
I like you about 1/18 as much as I like a Pumpkin Spice Latte, which is to say “I love you forever, let’s get married.”
I heard milk does the body good, but man, how much have you been drinking?
"There's lots of people in this world who spend so much time watching their health that they haven't the time to enjoy it." - Josh Billings
"Men make use of their illnesses at least as much as they are made use of by them." - Aldous Huxley
"Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now you tell me what you know."
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