Why are elephants scared of computers? Because of the mouse.
What do you call a mouse that doesn’t like being known about-? Anonymouse.
What goes eek, eek, bang? A mouse in a minefield!
What do you call a mouse with no balls? Optical.
What goes dot, dot, dash, squeak? Mouse code!
Why did the mouse eat a candle? For some light refreshment!
Who is king of all the mice? Mouse Tse Tung!
What mouse was a Roman emperor? Julius Cheeser!
How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower? Squeaky clean!
What do you call a mouse that doesn’t eat, drink, or even walk? A computer mouse.
How do you save a drowning mouse ? Use mouse to mouse resuscitation !
What kind of musical instrument do mice play? A mouse organ!
The Mouse and the Giraffe
A mouse was sitting in a bar having a drink when a beautiful giraffe came in and sat down at the end of the bar.
The mouse looked over at her and ordered her a drink.
Soon he had moved down beside her and ordered her another drink.
After a third round, the bartender looked up and they were leaving the bar together.
The next day the mouse limped into the bar, barely crawled up on the bar stool and sat there gasping for air. His whiskers were bent and broken, tail was crooked and patches of hair were falling out.
The bartender took one look at this terrible state, lifted an eyebrow and said, "So, how did it go last night?"
The mouse said, "Man, that was the best lovemaking I ever had."
The bartender asked, "Then why do you look so bad?"
The mouse replied, "Hey, between the kissing and the lovemaking I must have run 10 miles!"