Member

Why did the volleyball player cross the street? There was a team member bar tending who could serve spiked drinks.
Who is a penguin’s favourite family member?
Aunt Artica.
I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat.
Will Rogers
A man gets up and heads off to work despondent that not one member of his family has wished him Happy Birthday. What an ungrateful lot he thinks.

When he gets to work his attractive secretary asks him what’s wrong and he explains.

“Why don’t I take you out to lunch to cheer you up,” she says.

After a lovely lunch and a couple of glasses of champagne, she says do you mind if we drop into my apartment on the way home.

Interested, he replies,” Sure!”

At her apartment she smiles, fixes him a drink, and then says, “I just have to slip into the bedroom for a minute.”

In a moment she’s back with a birthday cake, his family and all his friends.

And there’s him lying naked on the couch.
Are you a member of a Girl Scout? Girl: No. Boy: Then why you knew how to tie my heart into knots?