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Mad

Why was the potato put in an asylum? It was starch raving mad.
Why was the snake mad at the jewel thief?
Because he wanted his diamondback.
There was this guy who was married to a blonde, and each night he came home with a new blonde joke.
One night the wife got mad and decided to show him that she wasn't dumb.
She spent the whole next day learning all her states and capitals.
That night when he got home he told his joke.
She says, "I'm not so dumb. I know all of the states and capitals. Go ahead, quiz me."
He thought for a moment and asked, "What is the capital of Massachusetts?"
She quickly replied, "M"!
I'm reading a book about a sadistic evil man who attaches ridges from boat hulls to his victims.
He's a mad keeler.
Prisoner: "I’m sorry I tried to escape."
Guard: "I’m not mad, just… disappointed."

Remember, kids, never let your guard down.
The sun is mad at the clouds because the clouds keep throwing shade.
The Mad Hatter and the Queen of Hearts had a rental agreement
A lease in Wonderland.
Why do they call it PMS? Because Mad Cow Disease was already taken
Why can't men get mad cow disease? Because they are pigs.
How many "friendzoned" guys does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. They just compliment it and get mad when it won't screw.
Why was the robot mad? People kept pushing its buttons.
Q: When does a doctor get mad?
A: When he runs out of patients!
I got so mad at my partner hitting moonballs, I had to pusher off the court.
What is a bunny’s motto? Don’t be mad, be hoppy!
My wife gets mad at me because I always take things literally.
The police get mad at me because that’s apparently considered “kleptomania.”