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Mad

The Mad Hatter and the Queen of Hearts had a rental agreement
A lease in Wonderland.
What is a bunny’s motto? Don’t be mad, be hoppy!
Why was the potato put in an asylum? It was starch raving mad.
The Angry Passenger
The Angry Passenger A man stepped onto the overnight train and asked to speak to the conductor. Upon meeting him, the passenger told the conductor, "I need you to wake me up in Philadelphia. I'm a deep sleeper and can be kinda grouchy when I get up, but no matter what, I want you to help me make that stop. Here's $100 to make sure!" The conductor agreed and they shook hands. The man fell asleep, and when he awoke he heard the announcement that the train was approaching New York. Furious, he collared the conductor. "I gave you $100 to make sure I got off in Philadelphia, you worthless fool!" "Wow," another passenger said to his traveling companion. "Is that guy angry!" "Yeah," his companion replied. "Still... not half as angry as that guy they forced off the train in Philadelphia."
My wife gets mad at me because I always take things literally.
The police get mad at me because that’s apparently considered “kleptomania.”
I got so mad at my partner hitting moonballs, I had to pusher off the court.
I'm reading a book about a sadistic evil man who attaches ridges from boat hulls to his victims.
He's a mad keeler.
The sun is mad at the clouds because the clouds keep throwing shade.
Why can't men get mad cow disease? Because they are pigs.
How many "friendzoned" guys does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. They just compliment it and get mad when it won't screw.
There was this guy who was married to a blonde, and each night he came home with a new blonde joke.
One night the wife got mad and decided to show him that she wasn't dumb.
She spent the whole next day learning all her states and capitals.
That night when he got home he told his joke.
She says, "I'm not so dumb. I know all of the states and capitals. Go ahead, quiz me."
He thought for a moment and asked, "What is the capital of Massachusetts?"
She quickly replied, "M"!
Why was the robot mad? People kept pushing its buttons.
Q: When does a doctor get mad?
A: When he runs out of patients!
Why was the snake mad at the jewel thief?
Because he wanted his diamondback.
Why do they call it PMS? Because Mad Cow Disease was already taken
Prisoner: "I’m sorry I tried to escape."
Guard: "I’m not mad, just… disappointed."

Remember, kids, never let your guard down.