Lose Jokes

“I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.” – Anonymous
"A truly appreciative child will break, lose, spoil, or fondle to death any really successful gift within a matter of minutes." – Russell Lynes
“Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That’s how rich I want to be.” – Rita Rudner
Why did the witch's team lose the cricket game?
Their bats flew away.
Why did the orange lose the race?
“Because it got Im-peached.”
Why did the orange lose his job at the factory? He didn’t concentrate.
I often tell my niece to listen, because hearing is the first thing you lose with aging.
Or was it memory? I can't remember.
Why did the zombie lose his lawsuit?
He had no leg to stand on!
You have to hunt down a troll and kill it with a gun. After you find it, you accidently lose sight of it. In rage, you fire your gun. The bullets hit the troll and it dies.
What do you tell the person who sent you on the quest?
- I lost gun-trol.
Are you my voice? Because I don’t want to lose you.
Why did the frog lose his job on the mushroom farm? He stole the toads-tool.
"You are so tall that wherever you go, you can see your house," said my friend. I replied, "At least I don't lose my way home".
What do you say if you lose a game on St. Patrick's Day?
Game clover.
Who puts money under a deer’s pillow when they lose a tooth?
The hoof fairy.
What kind of diet did the deer go on when she was trying to lose weight?
A non-deery diet.
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