You're old enough to know, my son, It's really awfully rude If someone speaks when both his cheeks Are jammed and crammed with food. Your mother asked you how you liked the onions in the stew. You stuffed your mouth with raisin bread And mumbled, "Vewee goo."
Then when she asked you what you said, You took a drink of milk, And all that we could understand Was, "Uggle gluggle skwilk."
And now you're asking me if you Can have more lemon Jell-O. Please listen carefully, "Yes, ifoo Arstilla ungwy fello."
Are you an audiobook? Because I want to listen to you forever.
What Mother Superior Found
The mother superior is very upset. She walks into the dinner room and announces to all the nuns to be quiet and listen.
"I was walking around the gardens, as I do." She says in a loud voice, "When I found some disturbing things! For one, I found a man's underpants!"
All the nuns are taken aback except for one, who is smiling.
"Then, " continues the mother superior, "I found a WOMAN'S underpants!"
All the nuns gasp together, except for one, who is giggling.
"And if that wasn't enough, I found.... a... a... used condom!"
All the nuns gasp, and some turn white, except for one, who is laughing quietly.
"And in the condom," finishes mother superior, "was a hole."
All the nuns laugh, except for one, who is crying.