Knows

What did the boy without hands get for his birthday?
Nobody knows, he hasn't got the package open yet.
What's the difference between an etymologist and an entomologist?
An etymologist knows the difference.
What's the difference between an otter and a navy aircrewman?
At least the otter knows he's not a seal.
What does the scrotum of a catholic priest look like?
Stupid question, even a child knows that.
What dinosaur knows a lot of synonyms? A thesaurus.
When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people.
What does a zombie say as he squishes your brains between his fingers?
Got your knows.
Why did Jesus ask Judas to crave the turkey?
Beause he knows he likes stabbing others in the back.
Why is Santa so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
Ladies, if there’s a man who remembers your birthday, knows what you enjoy and understands your friends and family...
it’s Mark Zuckerberg.
What do you call an owl who knows how to do magic tricks?
Hoodini.
There was a young lady named Rose,
Who had a large wart on her nose.
When she had it removed,
Her appearance improved,
But her glasses slipped down to her toes.
She followed her nose,
One day, I suppose,
And no one knows which way she went.
Why did the scientist use a drink container to communicate with dolphins?
Because a bottle knows dolphin.
Everyday for lunch I like to eat two pears, and my dad knows this.
One day I saw him dropping two pears into a bunch of brown paper bags.

“What are you doing?” I asked him.

“Preparing.”
What did the boy without hands get for his birthday?
Nobody knows, he hasn't got the package open yet.