Hurt Jokes

“All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.”
― Charles M. Schulz
"All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt."
— Charles M. Shulz
The Risks of Anal A woman went to her doctor for advice. She told him that her husband had developed a penchant for anal se*, and she was not sure that it was such a good idea  'Do you enjoy it?' The doctor asked.  'Actually, yes, I do.'  'Does it hurt you?' he asked.  'No. I rather like it.'  'Well, then,' the doctor continued, 'there's no reason that you shouldn't practice butt se*, if that's what you like, so long as you take care not to get pregnant.'  The woman was mystified. 'What? You can get pregnant from anal se*?'  'Of course,' the doctor replied. 'Where do you think politicians come from?"
Someone once asked Mark, "Doesn't it hurt your back while ducking under the door?" He replied, "Well, doesn't it hurt your legs to reach for the top shelf?"
I was thinking about hopping in the shower...
But I realized that I might slip and hurt myself.
Q: Why couldn't the Pharaoh sing?
A: He hurt his larSphinx
The stormy weather affected my ability to remember my alphabets. I remember A, B, C, D, and F but I misty.Someone got hurt from a fistful of grass thrown at them with force. When they pressed charges, the cops charged the culprit with physical grass-ault.
“The best way you hurt rich people is by turning them into poor people” – Billy Ray Valentine (Eddie Murphy) Trading Places
Did you hear how the zombie bodybuilder hurt his back?
He was dead lifting.
Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because you obviously landed on your face.
Me: Did it hurt?

Her: Did what hurt?

Me: When the door hit you in the ass on the way out.
Hey, did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because honestly, Karen, you are a demon.
Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Also Did you utilize Canada's public healthcare system to help ease that pain?
"You know you are getting old when everything hurts, and what doesn’t hurt doesn’t work." - Hy Gardner
“Friends give you a shoulder to cry on. But best friends are ready with a shovel to hurt the person that made you cry.”
— Unknown
Why did the orange cry?
Someone hurt its peelings.
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