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Hurt Jokes

Zombie Puns
Did you hear how the zombie bodybuilder hurt his back?
He was dead lifting.
Shower Puns
I was thinking about hopping in the shower...
But I realized that I might slip and hurt myself.
Funny Break Up Lines
Me: Did it hurt?

Her: Did what hurt?

Me: When the door hit you in the ass on the way out.
Hey, did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because honestly, Karen, you are a demon.
Art Puns
The stormy weather affected my ability to remember my alphabets. I remember A, B, C, D, and F but I misty.Someone got hurt from a fistful of grass thrown at them with force. When they pressed charges, the cops charged the culprit with physical grass-ault.
Grass Puns
The stormy weather affected my ability to remember my alphabets. I remember A, B, C, D, and F but I misty.Someone got hurt from a fistful of grass thrown at them with force. When they pressed charges, the cops charged the culprit with physical grass-ault.
Funny Money Quotes
“The best way you hurt rich people is by turning them into poor people” – Billy Ray Valentine (Eddie Murphy) Trading Places
Orange Puns
Why did the orange cry?
Someone hurt its peelings.
Food Quotes
“All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.”
― Charles M. Schulz
"All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt."
— Charles M. Shulz
Friendship Quotes
“Friends give you a shoulder to cry on. But best friends are ready with a shovel to hurt the person that made you cry.”
— Unknown
Funny Aging Quotes
"You know you are getting old when everything hurts, and what doesn’t hurt doesn’t work." - Hy Gardner
Canadian Pick Up Lines
Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Also Did you utilize Canada's public healthcare system to help ease that pain?
Mummy Puns
Q: Why couldn't the Pharaoh sing?
A: He hurt his larSphinx
Toxic Pick Up Lines
Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because you obviously landed on your face.
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