Hire Jokes

Why did the pirate captain want to hire a baseball player?
He knew he had a chest protector.
Why should you not hire short people as chefs? Because the steaks are too high.
Why did Dr. Frankenstein hire Igor as his assistant?
He had a hunch about him.
What kind of writer did the ghost hire to write his biography? A ghostwriter, duh.
When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people.
I want to play my match outdoors so I can hit the ball higher in the air. I’m not good at persuading people, so I’m going to hire a lob-byist.
Why did the manager hire the marsupial? Because he was koala-fied.
For his birthday, an old man’s nephews secretly hire a call girl for him. When he answers the door she’s standing there in a slinky black dress. She says, “I’m here to give you super se*.”

After thinking for a minute the old man replies, “I guess I’ll have the soup.”
Why did the ad agency hire a hydra?
She knew how to wear many different hats.
The Bear and His Freezer A polar bear carries a large freezer into an ice factory. On his way inside, he's stopped by a penguin wearing a tie and a name tag and carrying a clipboard. "Why are you bringing a freezer into an ice factory??" The penguin asked. "I'm a new hire," the polar bear replied, "I brought it with me because back home it freezes EVERYTHING. I thought it'd help me do my new job better." "Oh....Oh!" The penguin says, "I get it. I think there must be a misunderstanding. You brought it to 'make' the ice but it's your job to 'BREAK' the ice." "Oh." Said the Polar Bear. Then after a small pause he says, "So, why did the polar bear carry a freezer into the ice factory?"
What happens when you hire an odd-job guy to do 8 jobs?
They only do 1, 3, 5 and 7.
Why did the advertising tycoons hire a bunch of apes?
They were running a gorilla marketing campaign.
Why did the manager hire the marsupial? Because he was koala-fied.
Why shouldn't you hire a volleyball player to be your bartender?
The service may be excellent, but he'll try to spike all the drinks.
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