When cashing out at the grocery store it was obvious my cashier was high, slow as hell, and insulting me under their breath. I still don't know if I like self-checkout.
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, 'Do these turkeys get any bigger?' The stock boy replied, 'No ma'am, they're dead.'