Gives Jokes

Who gives crocodiles presents on Christmas?
Santa Jaws!
The color of the sky can help in predicting the weather. It gives a fair report of the hue-midity.
When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
When Chuck Norris goes scuba diving
He gives the water the bends.
A bear covered in a bunch of crows gives the picture of a grizzly murder.
Jellyfish have survived for 650 million years despite not having brains.
This gives me hope for the next generation.
How does the cell phone call his girlfriend on Valentine's Day? He gives her a ring.
I designed a new toilet but cannot find anyone to test it out.
No one gives a crap.
“Mother Nature is providential. She gives us twelve years to develop a love for our children before turning them into teenagers.”

- William Galvin.
“Mother Nature is providential. She gives us twelve years to develop a love for our children before turning them into teenagers.”

- William Galvin.
What do you call an elf who steals Christmas present wrapping from the wealthy and gives it to the poor?
Ribbon Hood.
I may study semantics, but you're what gives my life meaning.
Your presence gives meaning to my yoga practice and enlightenment.
A chicken goes into a library. He stands at the librarian's desk and says, "Buk," so she gives him a book. A couple of minutes later, the chicken returns. "Buk," he says, and she hands him another book. This goes on and on.
Finally, it is the librarian's break time. She goes out back to get some fresh air by the pond. That is when she sees the chicken and a frog on a lilypad. "Buk," says the chicken as he tosses a book to the frog. "Reddit," replies the frog...
How do people take a dump when, well, nobody gives a s**t?
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