Future

Do you have a pencil? Cause I want to erase your past and write our future.
What do you call an ant who can see into the future?
Clairvoy-ant.
Forget about the past, you can’t change it. Forget about the future, you can’t predict it. Forget about
the present, I didn’t get you one.
What word backwards can predict the future? Cookies (Seikooc as in psychic of you say it).
How does a man show he's planning for the future? He buys an extra case of beer. What do you call the useless piece of skin on a penis? The man. Why did God give men penises? So they'd have at least one way to shut a woman up.
How does a man show he's planning for the future? He buys two cases of beer instead of one.
How does a man show that he is planning for the future? He buys two cases of beer.
How does a man show he's planning for the future? He buys two cases of beer instead of one.
There once was a Senator from Mass
Who wanted a strange piece of ass
He lucked up and found it
But screwed up and drowned it
And now his future is past.
When the past, present, and future go camping they always argue. It's intense tense in tents.
Past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.
“A failure is like fertilizer; it stinks to be sure, but it makes things grow faster in the future.”
Denis Waitley
How do bats tell their future?
They read their horrors-cope.
How do bats tell their future? They read their horrorscope.
Can I check the tag on your clothes?
Why, because I'm made in heaven?
No, because your sweating profusely through your armpits and I want to avoid purchasing this fabric in the future.
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