Artist Jokes

There’s a great new rock and roll cover artist doing the rounds at the moment – his name is Chuck Cherry.
Q. What do you get when a swine artist mixes two colors together?
A. Pigment.
The artist thought she was all that and pen some.
I had gradient expectations on him of being a good artist, but it was all in vain!
After completing the deadline just in the nick of time, the artist breathed a cyan of relief.
The artist successfully climbed the highest peak in the country. He attributed his success to the song, 'Paint No Mountain Higher!'
Did you hear about the artist that has been drawing very small, colorful noodles?
He drew an itsy, bitsy, teeny-weeny, yellow, polka dot linguini.
What do we call a beautiful picture drawn by a peach artist? – It is a great peach of work.
An artist painted a wonderful fruit painting. It was a beautiful peach of work.
The plumber was working on the side to become an artist.
Unfortunately, he couldn't find a faucet for his creativity.
I asked a pink bird who its favourite artist was. It looked at me strangely and replied “Flamingo Starr, of course.”
A con artist tried to convince me he could ejaculate deli meat
What a load of bologna.
Why did the origami artist win her court case? She was great at doing the paperwork.
Why did the portrait artist take a side job as a census taker? Because he was great at canvassing people.
The Businessman and the Fortune Teller A businessman needs a new lease on life, so he goes to see a fortune teller and asks him what his future would look like if he became an artist. To the man's surprise, the fortune teller pulls out a large pipe, takes a hit, then looks into her crystal ball and says "dim and poor, don't bother." So the businessman asks him about his second choice, carpentry. The fortune teller takes a hit of her pipe, looks into her crystal ball, and says "better, but still not good." Finally, the businessman asks him how his life would go if he became an accountant. The fortune teller takes a hit of her pipe, looks into her crystal ball and says "best choice so far, but don't you have larger hopes than that?" The businessman says "thank you madam, how much do I owe you?" The fortune teller replies, "You asked three questions, so that will be three thousand dollars." "Three thousand dollars!" the businessman exclaims, "but I was only here for a few minutes!" The fortune teller points to her pipe and says "this stuff's not cheap, but to be honest I do keep most of it. You're a businessman, you understand." When the businessman gets home, he sees his wife and he says "honey, I'm going into the fortune-telling business." "Why's that?" she asks. He replies, "the high prophet margin!"
Good News or Bad News First? An artist asked a gallery owner if there had been any interest in her paintings that were on display. "Well, I have good news and bad news," the owner responded. "The good news is that a gentleman noticed your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. I told him it would and he bought all 10 of your paintings." "That's wonderful," the artist exclaimed. "What's the bad news?" "The gentleman was your doctor."
No one understands me when i say I like to paint peas in a cage.
I don’t what is so hard about it. I’m a trapped peas artist.
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