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Are You Done With That Chili, Pal?
Are You Done With That Chili, Pal? A hungry guy really fancies a bowl of hot chili. He sees a diner just up the street, so he decides to head there. A pretty waitress shows him to his seat, and he promptly places his order. The waitress says, "Sorry, but the guy next to you got the last bowl". He looks over and sees that the guy's finished his meal, but the bowl of chili is still full. He asks, "Are you going to eat that chili?" The other guy says, "No. Help yourself". He slides the bowl of chili over and starts to eat. When he gets about halfway down, his spoon hits something. He looks down sees a dead mouse and immediately pukes all the chili back into the bowl. The other guy says, "Yeah, that's about as far as I got, too."
Food Quotes
"In these difficult times, when so many people are having trouble finding enough to eat, we are extending the “five-second rule” to a full ten seconds."
– Ron Piraro
Space Pick Up Lines
Is it a full moon? Because I feel a tidal pull toward your heavenly body.
Funny Marriage Quotes
“If you love ’em in the morning with their eyes full of crust; if you love ’em at night with their hair full of rollers, chances are, you’re in love.” - Miles Davis
Ghost Puns
Why do Ghosts make such good company? They are full of spirit.
Funny Parenting Quotes
"I love when my kids tells me they’re bored. As if the lady standing in front of a full sink of dirty dishes is where you go to get ideas about how to have a good time." – Unknown
“No one is full of more false hope than a parent bringing a chair to the beach.” – @simoncholland
Werewolf Puns
Did you hear about the werewolf who got invited to the dance?
He really wanted to go, but the upcoming full moon was giving him paws.
"The Full Moon is a natural furnomenon," said the werewolf.
How do you make a werewolf stew?
Keep him waiting until the full moon!
Tableware Puns
A baker fell down the stairs with a platter full of cookies.
As they say, that's the way the cookies crumbled.
Minding my own business, when someone I thought was my friend threw a serving plate full of bumblebees at me.
I was bee-trayed.
Fairy Puns
A man meets a fairy.
"I grant you 2 wishes" , says the fairy.
"I want a bottle of beer that never gets empty" , says the man.
He starts to drink. After two minutes he stops drinking and the bottle is still full.
"And youre second wish?" the fairy asks.
"Another one of those."
Funny Work Quotes
“If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be ‘meetings.” – Dave Barry
Monster Puns
The skeleton ordered a cabernet wine with a full body because he didn't have one.
What happened to the pirate ship that sank in a sea full of sharks?
It came back with a skeleton crew.
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