Got Jokes

Got plans for leftovers, yet?
"I complain that the years fly past, but then I look in a mirror and see that very few of them actually got past." - Robert Brault
I just got some mistletoe, how about we go back to my place and try it out?
"The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made."
"She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon."
"I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to be rid of it."
"One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas, I'll never know."
Nice legging. Are you making a fashion statement? Because you got my attention.
Hey cutie nice pants, got any room in there for me.
I've got some wicked feelings brewing for you.
I want to ask you out, but I’ve got butterflies in my stomach. And worms. And maggots…
Are You Done With That Chili, Pal? A hungry guy really fancies a bowl of hot chili. He sees a diner just up the street, so he decides to head there. A pretty waitress shows him to his seat, and he promptly places his order. The waitress says, "Sorry, but the guy next to you got the last bowl". He looks over and sees that the guy's finished his meal, but the bowl of chili is still full. He asks, "Are you going to eat that chili?" The other guy says, "No. Help yourself". He slides the bowl of chili over and starts to eat. When he gets about halfway down, his spoon hits something. He looks down sees a dead mouse and immediately pukes all the chili back into the bowl. The other guy says, "Yeah, that's about as far as I got, too."
I've got the keys to the sleigh tonight.
I've got something you can hang a wreath on.
I've got something special in the sack for you!
Come sit on my lap. I've got a special gift just for you.
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