Flowers

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Please keep your flowers,
And your poems too.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I’m allergic to flowers,
Achoo!
This year for Valentine's day I got my wife the ace of hearts and packets of corn flour, rice flour and self raising flour
She wasn't happy. Apparently it wasn't what she meant when she said she just wanted a card and flowers.
Why are flowers so good at problem-solving?
They know how to nip things in the bud.

What did the flower tell his son before a big game?
I’m rooting for you.
What was the conversation like at the dinner party with all the boring flowers?
Like pollen teeth.
How do two flowers greet each other?
Hey bud, how’s it growing?
What kind of alcohol do flowers drink?
Rosé.
What do flowers study in college?
STEM.
How do you know flowers are capable of kissing?
They have tulips.
What do you call flowers who are bffs?
Buds.
Why do flowers always drive so fast?
They put the petal to the metal.
The Florist's Mix-Up
The Florist's Mix-Up A new business was opening and one of the owner's friends wanted to send him flowers for the occasion. They arrived at the new business site and the owner read the card, which said: "Rest in Peace." The owner was angry and called the florist to complain. After he had told the florist of the obvious mistake and how angry he was, the florist replied: "Sir, I'm really sorry for the mistake, but rather than getting angry, you should imagine this - somewhere, there is a funeral taking place today, and they have flowers with a note saying: “Congratulations on your new location!”
I ordered the wrong kind of flowers online for Valentines Day.
Oops e-daisies.
This year for Valentine's day I got my wife the ace of hearts and packets of corn flour, rice flour and self raising flour
She wasn't happy. Apparently it wasn't what she meant when she said she just wanted a card and flowers.
This Valentine's day, I decided to pay extra and buy flowers that look after themselves.
They are Self Raising.
What are a golfer’s favorite flowers?
Fore-get-me-nots.
The Special Gift
The Special Gift On the last day of kindergarten, all the children brought presents for their teacher. The florist's son handed the teacher a gift. She shook it, held it up and said, "I bet I know what it is - it's some flowers!" "That's right!" shouted the little boy. Then the candy store owner's daughter handed the teacher a gift. She held it up, shook it and said. "I bet I know what it is - it's a box of candy!" "That's right!" shouted the little girl. The next gift was from the liquor store owner's son, Little Johnny. The teacher held it up and saw that it was leaking. She touched a drop with her finger and tasted it. "Is it wine?" she asked. "No," Little Johnny answered. The teacher touched another drop to her tongue. "Is it champagne?" she asked. "No," he answered. Finally, the teacher said, "I give up. What is it?" Little Johnny replied, "A puppy!"