Field Jokes

The scare crow was out standing in his field, so he got awarded as the best employee of the year.
Why is a field of grass always older than you?
Because it's pasture age
If you were a baseball field could I hit a homerun.
Revenge of the Melon Farmer There was a farmer who grew watermelons. He was doing pretty well, but he was disturbed by some local kids who would sneak into his watermelon patch at night and eat his watermelons. After some careful thought, he came up with a clever idea that he thought would scare the kids away for sure. He made up a sign and posted it in the field. The next night, the kids showed up and they saw the sign which read, "Warning! One of the watermelons in this field has been injected with cyanide." The kids ran off, made up their own sign and posted it next to the farmer's. When the farmer returned, he surveyed the field. He noticed that no watermelons were missing, but the sign next to his read: "Now there are two!"
Your beautiful face looks like a field of flowers.
If a flower grew every time you’d cross my mind, I’d have a field of flowers.
The science teacher decided to take her class out on a field trip to the mountains because all the kids in her class desperately needed higher grades.
Why did the Green Giant lay down in the field?
So he could Rest in Peas.
A magic tractor drove down the road and turned into a field!
All theatres love to see scarecrows out in the audience as reviewers! They're simply outstanding in their field.
What has ears but cannot hear?
A field of corn.
IT vs. Management A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?" The man below says: "Yes. You're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field." "You must work in IT," says the balloonist. "I do" replies the man. "How did you know?" "Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but It's of no use to anyone." The man below replies, "You must work in management." "I do," replies the balloonist, "But how'd you know?" "Well", says the man, "you don’t know where you are or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault."
Q: Did you hear about the pea that changed careers?
A: He went into a different field!
"Hey baby, you look so good, I wish I could plant you and grow a whole field of y'all!"
- Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
The IT peach-guy is an expert in the field of peach synthesis.
"An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made in a very narrow field."
~ Niels Bohr
“An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made in a very narrow field.” — Niels Bohr
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