Directions Jokes

What do you call a camel that looks the same from both directions?
A palindromedary!
"If your kids are giving you a headache, follow the directions on the aspirin bottle, especially the part that says, keep away from children." – Susan Savannah
Can you give me directions to your heart? I've seemed to have lost myself in your eyes.
Why does it take 100 million sperm to fertilize an egg? Because not one will stop and ask for directions.
Why does it take a million sperm to fertilize one egg?
They really are too damn proud to stop and ask for directions.
Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg?
Because like all men, they won't stop to ask directions.
A blonde and a brunette were jumping off a building. Who jumped first? The brunette. The blonde had to ask for directions...
I gave someone directions to a theater today
I guess I am a movie director now.
Great news! I'm a movie director now! I gave stellar directions to a very lovely family on their way to the theatre.
IT vs. Management A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?" The man below says: "Yes. You're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field." "You must work in IT," says the balloonist. "I do" replies the man. "How did you know?" "Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but It's of no use to anyone." The man below replies, "You must work in management." "I do," replies the balloonist, "But how'd you know?" "Well", says the man, "you don’t know where you are or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault."
If you ever need directions, call for a navi-gator.
Can I have directions?
To your heart.
I'm new in town. Could you give me directions to your apartment?
The directions for my new dandruff shampoo are very confusing.
It's a real head-scratcher!
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