Feels

Why does bread hate hot weather?
It just feels too toasty.
A Christian is a man who feels repentance on Sunday for what he did on Saturday and is going to do on Monday. -- Thomas Ybarra
When you're crying, nobody notices your tears.
When you're worried, nobody feels your pain.
When you're happy, nobody sees your smile.
But fart just one time...
Man in a cinema watching a cowboy film.
A stagecoach pulls up, man 1 turns to his neighbour and says "I bet you a tenner that the first cowboy bangs his head on the doorframe." Man 2 accepts the bet. The first guy out banged his head so man 2 pays up.

Man 1 feels guilty and gives back the tenner, says "I'm sorry, I saw this film last week, it made me feel bad taking your money."

Man 2 says "So did I, but I didn't think he'd be daft enough to do it again."
Are you a 90 degree angle? Because this feels just right.
How did the roommate who stole the last avocado from the fruit bowl justify her thievery?
“I know it’s wrong, but it feels so ripe!”
An electrocuted turtle feels shell-shocked.
He who stands with hands in pockets feels foolish.
He who stands with holes in pockets feels nuts.
When should you take a cookie to the doctor? When it feels crummy. What do the cookie and the computer have in common? They both have chips.
It feels great to hit the ball again. It spin a long time.