Feels Jokes

Want to plan a ride up the hill. It feels great when you're on top.
A fly feels a bug on it's back. "Hey bug on my back, are you a mite?"
"I mite be !!" giggles the mite.

"That's the worst pun I've ever heard" groans the fly.

"What do you expect?" says the mite. "I came up with it on the fly. "
How did the roommate who stole the last avocado from the fruit bowl justify her thievery?
“I know it’s wrong, but it feels so ripe!”
"A man's only as old as the woman he feels."
"A man is only as old as the woman he feels."
My biology class was going on and on, and I was stuck in the middle of it. Well, you know, this is how it feels to be an on-i-on.
“Watching your daughter being collected by her date feels like handing over a million-dollar Stradivarius to a gorilla.”

- Jim Bishop.
This love feels like floating endlessly in outer space and looking for your pretty lost smiles.
Are you a 90 degree angle? Because this feels just right.
A strawberry feels most comfortable in its py-jam-as.
A few years ago, I had a job translating pre-Classical Greek literature into Braille.
It feels like ancient history.
If a painter ever feels stressed or troubled, they take a vacation to the hills. It will easel their mind!
A friend of mine swallowed some food colouring. He feels he dyed a little inside.
Man in a cinema watching a cowboy film.
A stagecoach pulls up, man 1 turns to his neighbour and says "I bet you a tenner that the first cowboy bangs his head on the doorframe." Man 2 accepts the bet. The first guy out banged his head so man 2 pays up.

Man 1 feels guilty and gives back the tenner, says "I'm sorry, I saw this film last week, it made me feel bad taking your money."

Man 2 says "So did I, but I didn't think he'd be daft enough to do it again."
If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it's beef.
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