Else Jokes

"The best way to garden is to put on a wide-brimmed straw hat and some old clothes. And with a hoe in one hand and a cold drink in the other, tell somebody else where to dig."
- Texas Bix Bender, Don't Throw in the Trowel
The government gives you the right to bare your arms but I give you the right to bare everything else.
I'm tired of this old broom. Got anything else I can ride?
Hey, wanna come to my place and observe something else that's constantly expanding?
May I tie your shoe?
Because I can't have you fall for anyone else.
I'm tired of this old broom. Got anything else I can ride?
I know you make artisan cheese, but what else can you do with your hands?
“A true friend is someone who is there for you when they would rather be someplace else.”
– Len Wein
You must be a magician, because everytime I look at you, everyone else disappears.
One night I looked up at the stars and thought, ‘Wow, how beautiful.’ But now that I’m looking at you, nothing else can compare.
"I've never known a person who lives to be 110 who is remarkable for anything else." —Josh Billings
"Maybe it’s true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out." - Phyllis Diller
“You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.” - George Burns
Why was the cheese happy in the kitchen?
He thought he was grater than everyone else.
Are you a sorcerer? Because everyone else vanishes when I look at you.
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