Else Jokes

May I tie your shoe?
Because I can't have you fall for anyone else.
Q: What do vegetables wish for, more than anything else in the whole world?
A: Peas on earth!
"The best way to garden is to put on a wide-brimmed straw hat and some old clothes. And with a hoe in one hand and a cold drink in the other, tell somebody else where to dig."
- Texas Bix Bender, Don't Throw in the Trowel
“A true friend is someone who is there for you when they would rather be someplace else.”
– Len Wein
Why was the cheese happy in the kitchen?
He thought he was grater than everyone else.
I'm tired of this old broom. Got anything else I can ride?
Are you a sorcerer? Because everyone else vanishes when I look at you.
"I've never known a person who lives to be 110 who is remarkable for anything else." —Josh Billings
"Maybe it’s true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out." - Phyllis Diller
“You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.” - George Burns
Hey, wanna come to my place and observe something else that's constantly expanding?
Why do werewolves howl at the moon?
Because no one else will do it for them!
You must be a magician, because everytime I look at you, everyone else disappears.
One night I looked up at the stars and thought, ‘Wow, how beautiful.’ But now that I’m looking at you, nothing else can compare.
Apple and orange were the only two left that evening. Everyone else had dates.
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