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Decided

Puns
I heard the local flasher was due to retire.
But hes decided to stick it out for another year.
I finally decided to sell my vacuum. It was just gathering dust.
Knife Puns
I decided to switch to a knife to preserve my ammo.
The guys at Laser Tag started freaking out though.
Anti Jokes
Helium walks into a bar.
He orders a drink and wonders why his parents decided to give him such an unusual name, as he can never find it on personalized souvenirs. Plus, baristas never, ever get it right.
Chocolate Puns
The chocolate couple decided to rent a two bedroom sweet for their summer honeymoon.
Sun Puns
Old astronomers got so tired of waiting for the sun to go down, that they decided to pack it up and call it a day.
Dirty Puns
I decided to give up masturbating.
I haven't felt myself since.
Sheep Puns
My wife and I have been having trouble communicating. We decided to take a walk when we passed a farm. She said "awww, babe look at the sheep."
"No, ewe." I said.
Valentines Day Puns
For Valentines Day, I decided to get my wife some beads for an abacus.
It’s the little things that count.
This Valentine's day, I decided to pay extra and buy flowers that look after themselves.
They are Self Raising.
Was a bit lonely by myself at home last night on Valentine's Day so I decided to make my own bread.
I was feeling quite kneady
Swimming Puns
[Water Slide] I was going to get some work done, but I decided to let it slide.
Spice Puns
My doctor told me "No more spicy food.", but I decided to have one last fennel fling.
Running Puns
What did the marathoner do after he won the race?
He decided to go into politics and run for office.
Corona Virus Jokes
I broke up with my girlfriend after she contracted the corona virus
I’ve decided to wash my hands of her.
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