“Mr. Jones, I’ve reviewed this case very carefully,” said the divorce court judge, “And I’ve decided to give your wife $300 a week.”
“That’s very fair, your honor,” said the husband.
“I’ll try and send her a few bucks myself every now and then too.”

Ghost Puns

When the ghost went to a fancy restaurant, he decided to wear a boo-tie.

Crow Puns

On Halloween night a group of crows decided to enact a scene from the play Julius Ceaser, they were enacting the caw-nspiracy scene.

The baby crow decided to dress up as his favorite vegetable on Halloween, he dressed up as a caw-liflower.

The crow decided to dress up as Corvid-19 virus for the Halloween costume party.

Nuts Puns

All the peanuts decided to start a social nutwork where they would all link up for a common good and even advocate for their rights.

Utensils Puns

I've decided to stop being a fork and become a spoon.
I just woke up one day and didn't see the point anymore.

Pot Puns

I decided to try growing pot...
So I buried a saucepan in my yard. I hear it takes no skillet all.

Garden Puns

I’ve always been afraid of gardening.
But then I decided to grow a pear.

Monster Puns

The vampire decided to eat a throat lozenge. It was the only thing he could think of to stop his coffin fit.

Yard Puns

I decided to add a water fixture to my backyard...
... it's going well

Strawberry Puns

On Father's Day my family went strawberry picking. Later on, we decided to make a jam...
...from the fruits of our labor

Family Puns

I’ve decided to name my son Mark.
That way, when I die, I’ll be able to say I left a mark on this world.

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