Jokes > Tags > Decided Jokes

Decided Jokes

Divorce Puns
“Mr. Jones, I’ve reviewed this case very carefully,” said the divorce court judge, “And I’ve decided to give your wife $300 a week.”
“That’s very fair, your honor,” said the husband.
“I’ll try and send her a few bucks myself every now and then too.”
Monster Puns
The vampire decided to eat a throat lozenge. It was the only thing he could think of to stop his coffin fit.
Ghost Puns
When the ghost went to a fancy restaurant, he decided to wear a boo-tie.
Pot Puns
I decided to try growing pot...
So I buried a saucepan in my yard. I hear it takes no skillet all.
Orange Puns
The oranges hadn’t been peeling well for a week when they finally decided to seek medical attention.
Nowadays oranges have decided to go out with prune. The reason is that it is becoming so hard to find a date.
Garden Puns
I’ve always been afraid of gardening.
But then I decided to grow a pear.
Crow Puns
On Halloween night a group of crows decided to enact a scene from the play Julius Ceaser, they were enacting the caw-nspiracy scene.
The baby crow decided to dress up as his favorite vegetable on Halloween, he dressed up as a caw-liflower.
The crow decided to dress up as Corvid-19 virus for the Halloween costume party.
Utensils Puns
I've decided to stop being a fork and become a spoon.
I just woke up one day and didn't see the point anymore.
Nuts Puns
All the peanuts decided to start a social nutwork where they would all link up for a common good and even advocate for their rights.
Family Puns
I’ve decided to name my son Mark.
That way, when I die, I’ll be able to say I left a mark on this world.
Strawberry Puns
On Father's Day my family went strawberry picking. Later on, we decided to make a jam...
...from the fruits of our labor
Yard Puns
I decided to add a water fixture to my backyard...
... it's going well
Want to start your day laughing? Register to our Daily Joke!
Did you mean:
Continue With: Google
By continuing, you agree to our T&C and Privacy Policy
Contact us | Help | About us | Terms | Privacy policy | Categories | Archive | Collections