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Crossing Jokes

Train Puns
Why are the railroad tracks angry? Because people are always crossing them.
Flamingo Puns
Have you ever tried crossing a lion with a flamingo? It will be pink, thatโ€™s the mane thing.
I once tried crossing a flamingo with a cement mixer. Sounds crazy, but I really wanted a good brick layer.
Basketball Puns
I saw the chicken quickly crossing the basketball court? Then I remembered that the referee was blowing fowls.
Nuts Puns
What did the nut tell itself before crossing the finish line? โ€œI pe-can do it!โ€
Quotes
โ€œA black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.โ€
Groucho Marx
Meat Puns
Pirates used to make a delicious snack for themselves by crossing pate with flowers. They called it โ€œlily liveredโ€.
Zebra Puns
What did the lollipop lady say to the zebra crossing?
'You're stripping me of a job.'
I saw a guy trying to cross a really busy street. Trying to be helpful, I said, โ€œYou know, there is a zebra crossing 50ft ahead.โ€
He said, โ€œI hope heโ€™s having a better luck than I am.โ€
Spice Puns
One day, tamarind, curry and ice were crossing the road. All of a sudden they heard a gunshot. Then, tamabrind ball, curry duck and ice-cream!
River Puns
I once dreamt of crossing a wide river...
But it ended up being just a ferry tale.
Onion Puns
As two onions were crossing the road, one of them was run over by a car. Upon being rushed to the hospital, the doctor informed the other onion, "I have some news that is going to make you cry!"
Math Puns
Did you hear about the statistician who drowned crossing the river?
It was three feet deep on average.
Funny Groucho Marx Quotes
"A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere."
Tiger Puns
Q: Why did the tiger cross the road?
A: To stop the zebra crossing.
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