Bunch

For my birthday, my friends gave me a bunch of dirt and sand.
I appreciated the sediment.
Why do trees have to drink responsibly? Otherwise, they become a bunch of trunk idiots.
My coworkers brought me a bunch of cards to celebrate my birthday
Each one gave me one with a single word printed on it. The first said "extravagant", while the next one said "surplus". These were followed by cards that said "abundance", "excess", and "overflowing". Before I read any more I had to stop because I was overcome with emotion. It was all too much.
I bought a bunch of antique spears online, but they arrived without their spear heads.
I got shafted.
Earlier today someone sent me a bunch of flowers, but all the heads had been cut off.
I think I'm being stalked.
What do you say when you go to a dinner with a bunch of osteopathologists?
Bone appetit!
Some guy wanted to charge me a bunch of money for a second hand bouncy house.
But I wasn't sure if that was something I really wanted to jump into.
Why don't bananas snore?
Because they don't want to wake up the rest of the bunch.
A bunch of vampire hunters needed to talk
So they scheduled a stakeholders meeting.
My love life is like a game of minesweeper.
I ignore a bunch of red flags and it always blows up in my face.
What do you get when you have a bunch of moles acting like idiots?
A bunch of mole-asses
A protestor threw a bunch of spices on Jason "Pink" London, but all it did was leave him "Saged and Confused".
Everyday for lunch I like to eat two pears, and my dad knows this.
One day I saw him dropping two pears into a bunch of brown paper bags.

“What are you doing?” I asked him.

“Preparing.”
An arrogant gazelle walks up to a bunch of lions and tells them how much better he is than them.
He was consumed by pride.
For my birthday, my friends gave me a bunch of dirt and sand.
I appreciated the sediment.