Broke Jokes

"Dogs have no money. Isn’t that amazing? They’re broke their entire lives. But they get through. Do you know why dogs have no money? .. No Pockets." ~ Jerry Seinfeld
Last night while cooking, my serving spoon's handle broke off. My husband walked in and said:
How very un-ladle-like!
I broke up with my partner on our front stairs.
It was a stoop end to the situation.
I recently broke up with my caterpillar girlfriend.
She'd changed.
On my farm, an entire lot of onions had some allergic reactions that broke out in chives!
Heard about the beaver who can split huge logs with his eyes? Yes, he just saw the logs, and they broke into two.
A vampire broke up with his girlfriend when she had a blood test. He told her she wasn't his type.
What did the witch do when her broomstick broke?
She witch-hiked.
Why are Minotaurs always broke?
Because their loan sharks are always milking them dry!
A fight between tiger and lion broke out. Both of them wanted to become the next empe-roar of the jungle.
Our relationship is like my financial status: Broke.
What happened when the orange broke out of prison?
All heck broke juice.
What happened when the pig pen broke?
They had to use the pig pencil.
“Kids are expensive, I didn’t even realize how broke I was until last year someone stole my identity and it ruined her life.”—Kate Davis
A bartender broke up with her boyfriend but he kept asking her for another shot.
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