Bring Jokes

“Money can’t buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery." ~ Spike Milligan
Are you a Gingersnap/Eggnog Latte? Because I want to bring you home for the holiday.
What do they do when the fruit educator is sick? They bring in a substitute peacher.
How did the skeleton bring his groceries home from the market?
He used his Cart-ilage.
I am so dedicated to basketball, but I promise you I will bring that dedication to our relationship.
Why did the model bring her lipstick and eye shadow to school?
Because she had a make-up exam!
Why are Scandinavian women so hot?
The Vikings didn't bring back the ugly ones.
Today is your birthday, don’t pull your hair,
Look in the mirror, nature was fair,
Not a day over twenty,
I’m kidding, you’re plenty.

Don’t mean to burst your bubble,
But stop asking for trouble,
You know what I mean,
When you drink that caffeine.

What should I bring?
Just give me a ring.
Elephant or clown?
I knew you would frown.

(Martin Dejnicki)
Football players get cheerleaders, but hockey players bring them home.
"If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee."
– Abraham Lincoln
Q: Why wouldn’t the teacher bring the class to the green pea farm?
A: It was in a seedy part of town.
I’ll bring you roses to our first date so that they can see how beautiful you are.
Dear Mother in law...Don't teach me how to bring up my children...
I'm living with one of yours and she needs a lot of improvement.
I bring my TV remote into every sports bar I go to so I can change the channel to whatever I want.
It’s a real game changer
"I’m like old wine. They don’t bring me out very often… but I’m well preserved." - Rose Kennedy
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