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Bring Jokes

Family Puns
Dear Mother in law...Don't teach me how to bring up my children...
I'm living with one of yours and she needs a lot of improvement.
Pea Puns
Q: Why wouldn’t the teacher bring the class to the green pea farm?
A: It was in a seedy part of town.
Sports Pick Up Lines
I am so dedicated to basketball, but I promise you I will bring that dedication to our relationship.
Flower Pick Up Lines
I’ll bring you roses to our first date so that they can see how beautiful you are.
Cosmetics Puns
Why did the model bring her lipstick and eye shadow to school?
Because she had a make-up exam!
Viking Puns
Why are Scandinavian women so hot?
The Vikings didn't bring back the ugly ones.
Funny Aging Quotes
"I’m like old wine. They don’t bring me out very often… but I’m well preserved." - Rose Kennedy
Hockey Pick Up Lines
Football players get cheerleaders, but hockey players bring them home.
Food Quotes
"If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee."
– Abraham Lincoln
Coffee Shop Pick Up Lines
Are you a Gingersnap/Eggnog Latte? Because I want to bring you home for the holiday.
TV Puns
I bring my TV remote into every sports bar I go to so I can change the channel to whatever I want.
It’s a real game changer
Monster Puns
How did the skeleton bring his groceries home from the market?
He used his Cart-ilage.
Funny Birthday Poems
Today is your birthday, don’t pull your hair,
Look in the mirror, nature was fair,
Not a day over twenty,
I’m kidding, you’re plenty.

Don’t mean to burst your bubble,
But stop asking for trouble,
You know what I mean,
When you drink that caffeine.

What should I bring?
Just give me a ring.
Elephant or clown?
I knew you would frown.

(Martin Dejnicki)
Funny Money Quotes
“Money can’t buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery." ~ Spike Milligan
Peach Puns
What do they do when the fruit educator is sick? They bring in a substitute peacher.
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