Bring Jokes

Today is your birthday, don’t pull your hair,
Look in the mirror, nature was fair,
Not a day over twenty,
I’m kidding, you’re plenty.

Don’t mean to burst your bubble,
But stop asking for trouble,
You know what I mean,
When you drink that caffeine.

What should I bring?
Just give me a ring.
Elephant or clown?
I knew you would frown.

(Martin Dejnicki)
Q: Why wouldn’t the teacher bring the class to the green pea farm?
A: It was in a seedy part of town.
"If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee."
– Abraham Lincoln
Are you a Gingersnap/Eggnog Latte? Because I want to bring you home for the holiday.
Dear Mother in law...Don't teach me how to bring up my children...
I'm living with one of yours and she needs a lot of improvement.
I am so dedicated to basketball, but I promise you I will bring that dedication to our relationship.
What do they do when the fruit educator is sick? They bring in a substitute peacher.
How did the skeleton bring his groceries home from the market?
He used his Cart-ilage.
Why are Scandinavian women so hot?
The Vikings didn't bring back the ugly ones.
Why did the model bring her lipstick and eye shadow to school?
Because she had a make-up exam!
"I’m like old wine. They don’t bring me out very often… but I’m well preserved." - Rose Kennedy
I’ll bring you roses to our first date so that they can see how beautiful you are.
I bring my TV remote into every sports bar I go to so I can change the channel to whatever I want.
It’s a real game changer
Football players get cheerleaders, but hockey players bring them home.
“Money can’t buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery." ~ Spike Milligan
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