Balls

Did you hear about the happy cannon balls?
They just got married and I hear they’re already expecting some BBs.
There was a Scotsman named McFee,
who got stung on his balls by a bee,
he made tonnes of money,
by producing lots of honey,
every time he went for a pee.
There once was a man from sprocket
Who went for a ride in a rocket
The rocket went bang
His balls went clang
And he found his d**k in his pocket!
In the Garden of Eden sat Adam
Complacently stroking his madam
And he thought with mirth
On the whole damned Earth
There were only two balls and he had ’em.
there once was a man from leeds
who ate a packet of seeds
within the hour
his dick was a flour
and his balls were all covered in weeds.
A young whore who came from Lahore
Would lie on a rug on the floor.
In a manner uncanny
She'd wiggle her fanny
And drain your balls dry to the core.
There once was a man from Devizes
Whose balls were of differing sizes
One was so small you couldn't see it at all
The other so big it won prizes.
What do you call a mouse with no balls?
Optical.
What do you call a mouse with no balls? Optical. What is a mouse's favorite record? 'Please cheese me'!
Everything For $1
Everything For $1 A guy receives an ad in the mail for a golf resort where everything costs one dollar. He jumps at the offer and heads off for a weekend of fun in the sun. He arrives and plays a round of golf. It cost him a buck. When he goes for dinner that evening, it costs him another buck. His room is only a buck a day! The day before he's to check out, he heads out to play a last round and stops by the pro shop and charges a sleeve of three balls to his room. When he's checking out next morning, he looks at the bill and sees: Golf: $1.00 Dinner: $1.00 Room: $1.00. Sleeve of golf balls: $3,000.00 He asks the Manager, "What is this all about? Everything is supposed to cost one dollar, and you charged me three thousand for three golf balls?" "I'm sorry, sir, said the manager, but you didn't read the fine print in our promotional brochure. That's what our golf balls cost." "Well, said the man, If I wanted to spend that kind of money, I could've gone to that luxury hotel across the street and paid them a thousand dollars a day for a room. At least I would've known what I was paying for!" "That's right, sir, you could have," said the manager. "Over there they get you by the room. Over here we get you by the balls!"
What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common? The balls are just for decoration.
Why are frogs good at baseball?
Because they catch a lot of fly balls.
If you have a moth ball in one hand and a moth ball in the other, what have you got?
A bloody big moth!
What do you call an alien with 3 balls? An extrateresticle.
Why do bunnies have soft se*?
They have cotton balls.
Why do the blondes prefer to have se* instead of bowling?
The balls are lighter, and you don't have to change shoes.