Attention Jokes

I met a French vampire who had an attention deficit problem. We called him Drac..ooh la la!
You can't ever get the attention of a vampire on Halloween. They're way too busy looking for their necks victim.
What do seals do when they need medical attention?
Sea kelp.
What nut is always begging for attention?
Pssst-tachios.
How do Vikings get each other's attention?
They ValHolla!
Hey sugar-buns, do you play Center? Wanna be the center of my attention?
The oranges hadn’t been peeling well for a week when they finally decided to seek medical attention.
“I’m so poor I can’t even pay attention." ~Ron Kittle
"I’m so poor I can’t pay attention." ~ Ron Kittle
When the teacher got frustrated because the students weren't paying attention to the class about Isaac Newton, he exclaimed, "Don't you understand the gravity of this situation?"
“The quickest way for a parent to get a child's attention is to sit down and look comfortable.”

- Lane Olinghouse.
What do you call a half man half horse in the middle of an army formation?
The centaur of attention.
Sometimes we eat when we’re hungry
Or else when we’re just in the mood,
But everyone’s habits are different
In how we relate to our food.

There are 3 meals-a-day folk as well as
The ones who skip breakfast or lunch
And grazers who nibble for most of the day
Or snackers who in-between munch.

There are people with junk food addictions
And those who shun pork, beef or fish,
While the gluten or carb-free among us
Pay attention to what’s in each dish.

As for sweets, that’s a whole other story –
When you think about ice cream or pie
Or the various candies and chocolates
Without which some could never get by.

Just consider your own way of eating
With the foods you enjoy or you sneak
And you’ll realize, if you broach the subject,
That our diets are all most unique!

(Ilene Bauer)
I sneezed in the bank today, it was the most attention I have received in the last 10 years.
Nice legging. Are you making a fashion statement? Because you got my attention.
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