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Attacked Jokes

Funny Animal Quotes
“My friend was attacked by a duck. I yelled “duck!” to warn him, but it just made it worse.”

- Kelkulus.
Knight Puns
Why does England always get attacked in the summer?
Because the Knights are shorter then.
Giant Puns
A giant fly has attacked the local police...
Police have called the SWAT team.
Diving Puns
My friend was telling me about how a shark attacked her while she was diving
I told her, that bites.
Nuts Puns
Two peanuts were walking down the road but only one was attacked. They suspect the reason was the other was unsalted.
Sheep Puns
I was riding my bike through the countryside when I was attacked by a herd of sheep!
Fortunately, I was only grazed.
Puns
If you're attacked by a group of clowns...
Go for the juggler.
Crow Puns
The group of crows that attacked the lady was accused of murder, the cawps are still looking for the probable caws.
Spain Puns
So in my trip to Spain i got attacked by a bull.
Oh man that's spainful.
Cheese Puns
What did the street cheese say after he got attacked by several blades? I've felt grater.
Fly Puns
A giant fly has attacked the local police...
Police have called SWAT team.
Thanksgiving Jokes
What happened the first time one of the settlers tried to write favor instead of favour?

He was attacked by a Pil-grammar nazi.
Crocodile Puns
A French photographer and his friend from Czechoslovakia were visiting Australia.
Unfortunately, one day they got too close to a nesting site and were attacked and eaten by a pair of crocodiles.
The female ate the Frenchman.
The Czech was in the male.
Funny Limericks
An extremely slim model, Miss Slater,
Was attacked by a croc and it ate 'er.
Said her trainer, Tough deal,
What a horrible meal,
We should throw it some greens and potater.
Greece Puns
If Russia attacked Turkey from behind do you think Greece would help?
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