Attacked Jokes

My friend was telling me about how a shark attacked her while she was diving
I told her, that bites.
An extremely slim model, Miss Slater,
Was attacked by a croc and it ate 'er.
Said her trainer, Tough deal,
What a horrible meal,
We should throw it some greens and potater.
A giant fly has attacked the local police...
Police have called the SWAT team.
“My friend was attacked by a duck. I yelled “duck!” to warn him, but it just made it worse.”

- Kelkulus.
What happened the first time one of the settlers tried to write favor instead of favour?

He was attacked by a Pil-grammar nazi.
Two peanuts were walking down the road but only one was attacked. They suspect the reason was the other was unsalted.
If you're attacked by a group of clowns...
Go for the juggler.
What did the street cheese say after he got attacked by several blades? I've felt grater.
I was riding my bike through the countryside when I was attacked by a herd of sheep!
Fortunately, I was only grazed.
A French photographer and his friend from Czechoslovakia were visiting Australia.
Unfortunately, one day they got too close to a nesting site and were attacked and eaten by a pair of crocodiles.
The female ate the Frenchman.
The Czech was in the male.
The group of crows that attacked the lady was accused of murder, the cawps are still looking for the probable caws.
So in my trip to Spain i got attacked by a bull.
Oh man that's spainful.
A giant fly has attacked the local police...
Police have called SWAT team.
Why does England always get attacked in the summer?
Because the Knights are shorter then.
If Russia attacked Turkey from behind do you think Greece would help?
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