Yo mama so fat when she's going on an airplane, she has to pay baggage fees for her ass.
Yo momma so fat when she went to the beach Greenpeace tried to drag her ass back in the water.
Yo mama so fat she pulls her pants down and her ass is still in them.
Yo mama so fat she needs a GPS to find her ass hole.
Yo mamma so fat I told her to haul ass and she had to make two trips.
A Swan Shan't Be Friends With a Pig
A college student wanted to sit next to one of his teachers at lunch.
However, the teacher looked at the student with an arrogant face and said:
'A swan shan't be friends with a pig.'
'Then I shall fly on,' answered the student with a smile.
The teacher was clearly vexed by the cheeky reply and decided to make sure to do everything in his power to fail the student.
At the oral exam, he gave the student the hardest questions, but the student had amazing answers for everything. Therefore, hoping he could still fail his victim, the teacher asked him a trickier question:
'You're walking on a road and you find two bags. One contains gold, the other cleverness. Which bag do you choose?'
'Unfortunately, I don't agree. I'd choose cleverness because that's more important than money.'
'Everyone would choose what they don't have.' says the student.
The teacher turns red, and he's so angry he writes "ass" on the student's paper. The student leaves without looking at the paper. However, he returns shortly, gives back his paper and says:
'Excuse me sir, you signed my paper, but you forgot to give me my grade!'
There was a young Coed of Kent, In matters of law eloquent. She told lawyers from Yale That her ass was for sale, But they proved it was only for rent.
Learning to Cuss
The kids learn to cuss . . .
A 6 year old and a 4 year old are raking the yard.
The 6 year old asks, "You know what? I think it's about time we started learning to cuss". The 4 year old nods his head in approval.
The 6 year old continues, "When we go in for breakfast, I'm gonna say something with hell and you say something with ass".
The 4 year old agrees with enthusiasm.
When the mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 6 year old what he wants for breakfast, he replies,
"Aw, hell, Mom, I guess I'll have some Cheerios".
He flies out of his chair, tumbles across the kitchen floor, gets up, and runs upstairs crying his eyes out, with his mother in hot pursuit, slapping his rear with every step. His mom locks him in his room and shouts, "You can stay there until I let you out!"
She then comes back downstairs, looks at the 4 year old and asks with a stern voice, "And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man?"
"I don't know", he says, "but you can bet your ass it won't be Cheerios."