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Alone Jokes

Elvis Pick Up Lines
I don't want to be alone. Help me make it through the night.
Are You Pick Up Lines
Are you alone? Nice to meet you, me too.
Friendship Quotes
“Good friends don’t let you do stupid things… alone.”
— Unknown
Deer Puns
What did the deer say when she wanted to be left alone?
“Doe away!”
Peach Puns
My mother says: “Leave that peach cobbler alone on the table!” However, I cannot help myself and sneak in to watch it making beautiful peach shoes.
My mother told me to leave the peach cobbler alone on the table. But I couldn't help but watch the cobbler make the beautiful peach shoes.
Funny Break Up Lines
Hey, let's hold a costume party. You can be a bank, and I can be alone!
Shower Puns
I was alone in the bath.
Imagine my surprise when I felt a tap on my shoulder!
Funny Parenting Quotes
“Parenting is a constant battle between going to bed to catch up on some sleep or staying awake to finally get some alone time.” — Anonymous
Coffee Shop Pick Up Lines
I have a personal rule to never eat chocolate alone.
Weather Puns
I'm feeling exceptionally alone in this cold weather. It's probably because I'm completely ice-olated.
Mermaid Puns
Ariel spent the weekend alone because she was feeling a little crabby.
Garden Puns
If a man is alone in the garden and speaks, and there is no woman to hear him, is he still wrong?
Leaf me alone.
Grocery Store Pick Up Lines
I always like to keep my place stocked with coffee and breakfast food in case I don't wake up alone.
The Ghostly Advice
The Ghostly Advice When I was about 7 years old, I accompanied my father to the funeral of a co-worker of his, someone I didn't even know. When we got there, I stood in a corner waiting for the time to pass. A bitter looking man approached me and said, "Enjoy life kid, enjoy it because time flies. Look at me now, I didn't enjoy it." Then he passed his hand over my head and left. My father, before leaving took me with him to pay honors to his friend. When I looked in the coffin, I was horrified to see that the man in the coffin was the same man who had spoken to me!! I was so traumatized I couldn't sleep properly. I had terrible nightmares. I was terrified of being alone. I saw many psychologists, endured much turmoil throughout my adolescent years. It got better as I aged, but I would still occasionally wake up screaming in fear. It was many years later when I discovered something remarkable that completely changed my life. That bastard had a twin.
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