It’s so cold that even the snowmen are wearing sweaters!
It’s so cold the local graveyard put heaters out for the ghosts.
It’s so cold that Jack Frost changed his name to Jack Froze.
It’s so cold we have to carry around hammers and chisels so we could get out of our clothes!
It’s so cold I left Starbuck with mocha lattes and by the time I got to the car I had fudgicles.
It’s so cold we had to punch a hole in the air just to get outside.
It’s so cold the anticipation of waiting for my ketchup to come out of the bottle lasted three months.
It's so cold that I’m drinking hot sauce instead of coffee.
It’s so cold I walk to school with a toaster in my pants.
It’s so cold we had to salt the hallway.
It’s so cold Levi Strauss started making electric jeans.
It was so cold when I blinked my eyes froze shut.
It's so cold that our words froze in midair — we had to put them in a frying pan to thaw them so we could hear what we were talking about.
It’s so cold my hat wrapped itself in a scarf.
It's so cold hitchhikers were holding up pictures of thumbs!
It’s so cold people with spiked hair were being arrested for carrying around a dangerous weapon.
It was so cold the mice were playing ice hockey in the toilet bowl.
It's so cold that you have to break the smoke off your chimney.
It’s so cold travel agencies are advertising tropical holidays to Alaska.
It's so cold that you might have to chop up the piano for firewood (although you’ll only get two chords).
It’s so cold I saw a gangsta with his pants pulled up.
It was so cold firemen couldn’t get the people out of the burning building because it was warm.
It’s so cold that the snowflakes froze in the air and birds used them as stepping stones to get from tree to tree.
It’s so cold that when I needed an anesthetic, the dentist told me to stick my head out the hospital window.
It’s so cold I swapped my pillow for a grill.
It’s so cold cops are tasering themselves.
It’s so cold every kind of cereal in the cupboard is frosted – including the boxes!
It’s so cold that when I dialed the emergency number, there was a recording that said to call back in spring.
It’s so cold we have to put skates on just to move around the house.
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