Two men pause their round of golf to smoke a cigar. One pulls out a matchbox while the other pulls the biggest lighter you've ever seen out of his golf bag and proceeds to light his cigar.
The other man stares, laughs and says "Holy moly, that's the biggest lighter I've ever seen! It must be a foot long! That's hysterical. Where did you get it?!"
"Well," The first man sighs. "It's a long story."
"We have hours ahead of us." Pointed out his golf companion.
"Alright, alright." Surrendered the first man.
"Thing is, I found a magic lamp while practicing the other day, and the genie gave it to me."
The second man is skeptical and laughs, just to have the first man pull an old oil lamp out of his bag. Intrigued, the second man rubs it, and sure enough, a genie pops out and offers a wish.
The second man doesn't think twice: "I want a million bucks!"
The Genie nods, snaps his fingers, then disappears into a wisp of smoke. For a few minutes... nothing. Then, suddenly, a rumble in the distance.
The rumble gets louder and louder, when suddenly the skies darken and a flock of ducks flies over. There are hundreds, no thousands of them! For 10 minutes straight the sun is blocked out, and everyone is holding their ears to protect from the sound of a million ducks quacking.
Suddenly, as quickly as it started, it ended. As the sound slowly faded away, and as the last few straggling ducks flew over, the men looked around at all the carnage, duck poop everywhere, golfing gear lying scattered as other golfers ran for cover.
Astounded, the second man says "What the hell was that? I asked for a million bucks, not a million ducks!"
"Yea he's a bit hard of hearing." His friend sighs. "Did you really think I wished for a 12-inch Bic?"
Scroll below for more funny jokes!
Joke: The Wife, the Husband and the Genie
A husband and wife in their sixties were coming up on their 40th wedding anniversary when they discover a genie...
Hilarious Nature: True Facts About Elephants!
Come with us as we explore this huge mammal, make some jokes and meet one of the smartest and most fascinating of all animals, the elephant.
Joke: Some People Are Just Never Happy in Life!
Sometimes in life, you just can't get it right in the eyes of people. That's why you really shouldn't try to please everyone...
I Love Laughing at Clever Cartoons, Don't You?
from religion to family to funny situations, you'll surely find something to raise that smile in these funny cartoons.
Hilarious Improv: Dear Wife, I'm Writing You This Letter...
These two improv performers are only allowed to say one word at a time. Following a suggestion from the audience.
These Have to Be the Most Oddly Specific Signs Ever Made
Laugh out loud at these hilariously specific signs that will leave you wondering who exactly they were made for.
Laugh Out Loud with Rob Spence's Crazy Balloon Act
Watch in awe as Rob Spence's balloon mime act takes center stage, bringing non-stop laughter.
18 Funny Construction Bloopers That are Too Hard to Ignore
Take a look at some truly absurd and outrageous construction fails that will make you laugh out loud.
Hilarious: 16 Sarcastic Daily Affirmations!
Sometimes, being overly positive doesn’t help. But a little bit of humor does.
Stand-up Comedy: What Men Really Think of Their Marriage
Marriage is certainly a blessing we all appreciate. But that doesn't mean we can't have a good laugh about it! This portrayal is cynical, but deadly funny!
Collection - Design Fails & Construction Mistakes
An enormous collection of terrible design and construction mistakes.
20 Of The Funniest Spelling Mistakes You've Ever Seen
A compilation of the funniest and weirdest spelling errors and grammar mistakes you will come across.
Hilarious: This Company is Run Exclusively By Dogs...
What would a company look like if it were run by adorable dogs? Well it might be pretty hysterical...
Translations Gone Wrong – 15 Hilarious Examples
These funny signs are proof that bad translations can have hilarious results.
These Hilarious Cartoons Get What Living with Dogs is Like!
The way we are with dogs and the way dogs are with us, is something only dog owners really get. If you're a dog owner these comics will make you laugh a lot!
Spooktacular Halloween Pranks That'll Have You Howling
It's Halloween time, so sit back and enjoy these spookily funny pranks.
These Comics Prove a Single Panel Can Deliver Big Laughs
Enjoy this hilarious collection of single-panel comics by Adam Douglas Thompson.
These Signs Are Way Too Funny!
You know what time it is? It’s time for some hilariously funny sign!
Hilarious: This is Why We Love Kids...
There are a number of reasons we love kids! It isn't just because they laugh out loud most of the time or look great in photos - they also make us laugh...
For a Giant Smile, Check Out These Hilarious Cartoons!
If you love cartoon stripes then you came to the right place. Enjoy this collection of funny cartoons that are sure to make your day funnier and your step lighter.
The Funniest Outdoor Signs from This Vet Clinic
The Carroll County Veterinary Clinic grabs people’s attention with its hilarious roadside signs
Hilarious: Are These Weirdest Signs Ever Made?
Enjoy this hilarious compilation of weird signs that will have you in stitches!
Classic Comedy: What's Your Name?
A classic skit from the ground-breaking British sketch show 'A Bit of Fry and Laurie', starring Stephen Fry and Hugh Laurie
Hilarious: Have You Seen The New Senior Bumper Stickers?
Here are some bumper stickers specially made for the retired lifestyle!
How Much Sleep Do We Need at Different Ages?
How much sleep do we need at 15? Is it the same at 35 or 60? No, and that is exactly what we would like to teach you about
Classic Comedy: Why Michelangelo Didn't Do the Last Supper
One of the lesser known sketches of the famous Monty Python is a hoot and a half - explaining why Michelangelo didn't paint the last supper.
It's Impossible Not to Laugh At These Funny Signs!
Who doesn't love a funny sign? This collection will leave you grinning from ear to ear.
Mrs Brown Does a Hilarious Strip Tease - for the Vicar!
After being hypnotized the night before, Mrs Brown is unaware that she is still under the spell. The vicar is coming round for tea. What could go wrong?
I've Been to the Zoo, But I've Never Seen THIS
I would have given a lot to be at that zoo at that particular time. What a laugh!
This 'Man Song' is a Complete Hoot!
Watch the legendary Milton singing 'The Man Song' by Sean Morey in this hilarious video.
Laughter Guaranteed: 15 Uproarious Classical Art Memes
Who would have thought that classical art pieces can make you cackle with laughter?
These Photos Prove Dogs Are The FUNNIEST Pets In Existence
Whether they're caught trying to steal a snack or desperately resisting bath time, dogs never fail to put a smile on our faces. Check out these funny dog moments!
These Witty Signboards Will Make Certainly You Chuckle
Signboards that we see everyday are mostly forgettable. However, here is a collection of the wittiest signboards with some great messages.
Classic Comedy: Getting Rid of Whom?? (Adult Humor)
I can't stop laughing at this hilarious scene...
Funny: These Kids' Christmas Letters Will Make You Chuckle!
Kids are known for speaking their mind, and are extremely forthright when it comes to making requests. Here are some funny and cute Santa letters from kids.
18 Hilarious Comics About The Everyday Adventures of Dogs
Enjoy these hilarious single-panel dog comics by artist Anthony Smith.
Language Humor: 15 Hilariously Bad Translation Fails
Translation isn’t for everyone and these pictures show exactly why.
Hilarious: How Cold IS IT?
Don’t like the chilly weather? Then you will relate to these hilarious winter memes.
These Hilarious Pictures Will Have You Laughing Out Loud
These photos will have you laughing out loud.
17 Witty and Funny One-Panel Comics!
Enjoy this hilarious collection of one-frame comics by New Yorker Magazine cartoonist Harry Bliss.
Hilarious! Here Are 15 Animals Having a Really Bad Day...
Humans aren't the only ones who can have a really bad day every once in a while, and these 15 hilarious photos prove it!
Your Smile Video of the Day
Watch this fluffy owl as it apparently pets a no less fluffy dog in friendship, once again proving to us that many kinds of animals can show affection, not even just mammals.
When Cats Attack, Absolutely Nothing is Safe!
These Photos are filled with cats going into attack mode and assaulting everything from their devoted owners to innocent cardboard boxes, blankets, and shoes.
It's Not Fun Being Old, But Sometimes It's Funny...
Let me make your day with these photos that made almost made me spill my coffee this morning.