Why are football players not allowed in bowling alleys?
After getting a strike, they spike the ball.
In a conversation between one pin and another, one said, “Let us never split.”
Mary didn’t miss a first serve the entire match. It was not her fault she lost.
What did they call Dracula after his team won the big game?
The Champire.
Which fish can perform operations? A Sturgeon!
Where do spiders play football?
Webley Stadium.
What stat do the Miami Dolphins lead every single year?
All Porpoise Yardage!
Why can’t a car play football?
Because it only has one boot.
Who directs all of the movies about volleyball injuries? Spike Lee.
Did you hear about the football team that drafted a vending machine?
They really needed a quarter back!
What happens if you read too many Painful baseball Puns?
You're left in stitches.
How did the swim team manage to pay for new pool renovations?
They pool-ed their resources!
They say I’m too indecisive to be a tennis umpire
but I still haven’t ruled it out.
Here’s the game plan: [party details]
With salsa, cheese dip, and guac, our bowl game is hot.
Which author is anxious to write the book: Colorado Rockies, World Series Champs?
Ben Whayten.
You cannot strike it, if you don’t try it.
What does the pope eat during lent? Holy mackerel!
Ideally, the cost of a bowling game should be ten pinnies. However, with inflation, the price always goes up.
In Quebec they used to practise throwing the puck in the zone, and then
sitting back to wait for a turnover. But eventually the players were
criticized for this dump-and-chaise tactic.
What happened when the football coach’s dog ran onto the field during a game?
He got called for ineligible retriever down field!
The huddle is real
Before they go out to a basketball game, all cheerleaders down several bottles of root beer.
My life-long rival just beat my record for deep-sea diving.
This is a new low.
Oh, I thought I was playing the first round, but I guess I got a free pass. Bye.
Why should you not play volleyball in court? Because you could get arrested.
Everyone wondered why Cinderella was such a bad player. If only they knew, her coach was a pumpkin.
I’d like to throw away my old can, but my pusher friend here says he loves junk balls.
If you make a mistake of playing basketball with pigs, they will hog the ball.
I prefer the new system to reviewing line calls. When Hawk-eye came around, I breathed a big Cy-clops of relief.
The refs kept calling interference, even though goalmouth incidents were in
de-crease.
The ref keeps shafting us the offsides; I think he's blue lyin'.
The injured player wanted to congratulate the winner, but he couldn’t walkover to the other side of the court.
Our game is as tight as our spandex. This would be an awesome team motto.
Why couldn't the garden gnome run in the marathon?
Because he's not part of the human race!
It is not really much about how you bowl, but instead how you roll.
How many volleyball referees do you need to screw in a light bulb? None because they are always in the dark.
The game of golf is 90-percent mental…
And 10-percent mental.
Golf balls are like eggs…
They’re white, they are sold by the dozen, and a week later you have to buy more.
I want to practice my forehand outside, but it will be wet in the morning and nice later on. So here’s the plan for today: inside-out.
Why do volleyball players join the military? They want to gain extra experience in the service.
What do you call a woman standing in the middle of a tennis court?
Anette.
Pardon me if I’m being pool-itically incorrect.
Why is Cinderella bad at football?
Because she’s always running away from the ball.
Why did the football coach attempt to destroy the vending machine?
Cuz it wouldn't give him his quarterback.
How are ladies' baseball teams and cupcakes alike?
Both are delicious and depend on a good batter.
In the history of bowling, there is one bowler who floats like a butterfly and stings pretty much like a bee. His name is Muhammad Alley.
Why should a bowling alley be quiet?
So you can hear a pin drop!
How many middle-hitters do you need to screw in a light bulb? Only one, but the the setter has to put it perfectly in their hand first.
The last time I wanted to go bowling, all the pins were on strike. So I just stayed at home and watched TV instead.
What do you call it when a football player suffers a career-ending injury in his last game before retirement? Gridirony!