The football won’t be the only thing spiked at this party.
What do we call the basketball team that won the donuts championships? – dunkin donuts.
Why did the pirate captain want to hire a baseball player?
He knew he had a chest protector.
Why do gnomes like baseball? Gnome Runs.
I prefer the new system to reviewing line calls. When Hawk-eye came around, I breathed a big Cy-clops of relief.
Why was the baseball player so good at writing advertising jingles?
Because they're so catchy.
Where did the Flopper work in the offseason? At Dominik's Hat-Check.
What do you call a giant that's good at football?
Goaliath.
What swims in the sea, carries a machine gun, and makes you an offer you can't refuse? The Codfather
What do you call a Spanish football player with no legs?
Gracias.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Eyesore.
Eyesore who?
Eyesore from my long run—can we take the elevator?
What do frogs do when they ski?
They rip it.
What it is it called if you refuse to go running today?
Resistance Training!
What is a cyclops' favorite winter activity?
Sking. That's like skiing, but only with one eye.
I quit my job as a scuba diving instructor after my first day at work.
Deep down I realized it wasn’t for me.
Which hulking left-winger could body-slam The Giant? Dave Andre-chuck.
I surprised the judges at my last diving competition by performing a cannonball.
I made a huge splash.
If the wooden face mask was popularized by Jacques Plante, was the wooden
cup made popular by Jock Plank?
Ana hits a lot of floating shots that her opponents destroy for winners. We need to sitter down and have a talk.
Why was the potato fired from his job at the football stadium?
He was a horrible commentater.
My wife drove our German car off the pier into the sea. The next day I went diving to look for it.
I got the Benz.
Which HOF defenceman was nicknamed The Gravedigger? Denis Plotvin.
Did you hear the joke about the pop fly? Oh, nevermind. It was over your head...
We’ll kickoff the party with some cocktails.
During holidays, soccer referees send their families yellow cards.
Defeat in soccer is only bitter if you swallow it.
When your putt lips out, what disease do you have?
Liprocy.
Which rangy centre could cover the whole ice? Jean Umbrelliveau.
Ski Area Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, want me to jump off this chairlift for you? 'Cause I think I could fall for you.
How did the serve know when the bad serve was not with the hand? The server knew it was the foot fault.
When the pitch is flooded, soccer players can still go on. They just need to bring on their subs.
You cannot strike it, if you don’t try it.
For instant fun, just add water.
Which classical Greek may have actually invented baseball?
Homer.
Is there a bathroom in this tennis club? Because I’m about to drop a deuce.
The only time a basketball team can chase a baseball team is five after nine.
What do sprinters eat before a race?
Nothing, they fast.
What type of pool do mechanics like best?
The car pool!
Pick-up line: You might as well play be a tennis player, because I’m about to court you girl.
[Donuts] We’re going the hole nine yards for this game.
Why did the volleyball player join the marines? To serve our country.
How are ladies' baseball teams and cupcakes alike?
Both are delicious and depend on a good batter.
In the history of bowling, there is one bowler who floats like a butterfly and stings pretty much like a bee. His name is Muhammad Alley.
The main difference between a dog and a basketball player is that one dribbles while the other one drools.
I want to practice my forehand outside, but it will be wet in the morning and nice later on. So here’s the plan for today: inside-out.
Federer is such a legend that they named the Roger’s Cup, and Fed Cup after him.
What do volleyball players watch during their free time? They watch Spike TV.
Why did Tarzan spend so much time on the golf course?
He was perfecting his swing
Which local sportswriters are most effusive? Those who work in the praise
box!
What did the fishermen say to the fish that swam away? "You bass-tard!"