What did the player on the Bumblebee basketball team say after making a foul shot?
Hive Scored!
During holidays, soccer referees send their families yellow cards.
Skier in ER: Doc, I slipped on my way to the chairlift.
Doctor: Icy.
I hate when I have to stop scuba diving
If makes me deep-pressed
How did the octopuses win the football match?
Ten tackles
Why did the guy decide not to donate a dime to any charity raising funds for a marathon?
Because they just take the money and run.
How are snow boards and vacuum cleaners alike?
Both have dirt bags on board.
Football is one habit I will never kick
Ideally, the cost of a bowling game should be ten pinnies. However, with inflation, the price always goes up.
Why are Scandinavians the fastest runners in the world?
Because they start out near the Finnish line.
What is a defensive football players favorite dessert?
Apple Turnover.
Why do gnomes like baseball? Gnome Runs.
Which football playoff team are Star Trek fans rooting for ?
The Green Bay Picards.
Which LA King was the total package? Parcel Dionne.
Is it ad-out again? I’m going to hit my breaking point.
I made a snap decision to watch football today.
You cannot get a basketball game fairly officiated in the jungle because cheetahs are all over.
Why was the wheelchair basketball team banned from the Paralympics?
They all tested positive for WD-40.
Which Star Wars movie is a baseball player's least favorite?
The Umpire Strikes Back.
What is a golfer’s favorite bird?
Any birdie will do.
A guy walks into the bar.
It's hardly surprising he didn't make the steeplechase team, on reflection.
Though it sounds mean, a bad soccer team is much like an old bra. It has no cups and minimal support.
My football teammate asked me, “On a scale of 1-10, how do you rate our after-victory celebration?”
I gave him a high five.
What do baseball players eat at White Castle?
Sliders.
How can you tell a vampire likes baseball? Every night he turns into a bat.
What type of trunks do foresters wear to the swimming pool?
Tree trunks!
Football pitches are almost always so wet. This is because soccer players dribble a lot.
Why was the nice guy such a lousy baseball player?
Because he never got to home base.
Softball is just like baseball
Except the tactics seem more underhanded.
I know my shot was in. But I won’t argue, because I’m not up for the challenge.
What do a bowling ball and a blonde have in common?
Chances are both will end up in the gutter.
Why do hitters find it so hard to be productive when they are indoors? They always work on an angle to play outside.
Why do volleyball players love to swim? They like diving in the deep and then floating in the shallow.
Having a ball
Which local sportswriters are most effusive? Those who work in the praise
box!
What did the bowling pins do?
They went on strike.
Why did the blonde volleyball player end up getting fired from her waitressing job? Someone said she needed to serve the food.
Why was McGruff the Crime Dog ejected from the football game?
He was called for unnecessary gruffness!
Good bowlers always keep their minds out of the gutter.
I went deep sea diving and a mollusk wanted to give me a hug!
Damn cuddlefish.
A team may be talented, but there is no substitute to this, no train no gain!
What trophy do you get if you never score any points? The Art Rouse.
What is American football called in other countries?
30.48 cm ball.
I may not be the biggest football fan, but I love tight ends.
How did the swim team manage to pay for new pool renovations?
They pool-ed their resources!
Which Habs great once worked as a janitor? Broom-Broom Geoffrion.
What do Walter Payton and Luke Skywalker have in common?
They both did great with a hand off!
How is it that elephants are always ready for a swim?
They never forget their trunks!
There is one commonality between a magician and a soccer player. They both do hat tricks.
Did you hear about the rundown swimming pool?
It was a real dive!