Why is Cinderella bad at football?
Because she’s always running away from the ball.
A spectator at a baseball game wondered why the ball kept getting bigger and bigger. Then, it hit him.
Ski Area Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, know what I have in common with this new powder? 8 inches.
What is the first time that a volleyball match was talked about in the Bible? When Joseph served in the Pharaoh’s court.
What do runners eat before a big race?
Fast food.
When the baseball team chose an owl masot, did they get a designated hooter?
Why wasn’t the little pumpkin allowed to swim?
There was no life gourd on duty!
How can you tell a vampire likes baseball? Every night he turns into a bat.
Which cool rapper recreates at Aspen Snomass?
Ice Ski.
How do volleyball players deliver their messages? Through Air Mail.
Skier in ER: Doc, I slipped on my way to the chairlift.
Doctor: Icy.
How do recreational league baseball players stay so cool?
They sit among their fans.
Why don't skeletons ski the black diamond runs at Copper Mountain?
They've got soul, but they just don't have the heart for it.
A man named Martin Draw was campaigning for the Senate. He printed up shirts saying “I’m with Draw” to support his campaign. The next day, he wore the shirt to a tennis tournament. When he walked up to the tournament desk, the director handed him his money back and asked him why he couldn’t play.
Why was the nice guy such a lousy baseball player?
Because he never got to home base.
My football teammate asked me, “On a scale of 1-10, how do you rate our after-victory celebration?”
I gave him a high five.
Which commandment do baseball players hate the most? Thou shall not steal.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Eyesore.
Eyesore who?
Eyesore from my long run—can we take the elevator?
Which hulking left-winger could body-slam The Giant? Dave Andre-chuck.
Every player knows pretty well that they cannot afford to go through life without goals.
Why did the golfer need new socks?
Because there was a hole in one.
Grasshoppers do not fancy soccer matches because most of them prefer cricket matches.
Which Habs great once worked as a janitor? Broom-Broom Geoffrion.
What’s the difference between a punter and punster?
A punster gets his kicks with bad puns like these!
Everybody wants to light up a soccer stadium. However, this is only possible using a soccer match.
What game do some skiers like to play on the road trip to the slopes?
Ice Spy With My Little Ice.
Went to a game with my dad today and as we were standing up to sing, the veteran in him kicked in and he began tearing up. I said to him, "You know, technically, national anthems are just…
…country music."
Here’s the game plan: [party details]
With salsa, cheese dip, and guac, our bowl game is hot.
Went on a diving trip with strangers and found a sunken vessel. We're all pitching in to salvage and rebuild it.
I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friend-ship.
An orange and an apple signed up for a tournament. No one was surprised to find out they were both seeded.
What did the bad soccer announcer get for Christmas?
COOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What happens if you read too many Painful baseball Puns?
You're left in stitches.
It is not uncommon for elephants to start a stampede. Especially if they want to play for the Chargers.
Tennis is a lot like waiting tables. The most important thing to get right is the first serve.
Before they go out to a basketball game, all cheerleaders down several bottles of root beer.
Why did the volleyball player join the marines? To serve our country.
Calm before the score
How are ladies' baseball teams and cupcakes alike?
Both are delicious and depend on a good batter.
Why couldn't the garden gnome run in the marathon?
Because he's not part of the human race!
Basketball players manage to remain cool even during tough matches because they stay closer to the fans.
Why don’t quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage?
Because they produce audible groans!
What did the fisherman say to the card magician? Take a cod, any cod.
After the guy broke his arm skiing, he realized it was all downhill from there.
The beauty with bowling is that you can get three strikes, but you still remain in the game.
What do you call it when you've choked on water while jogging every morning this week?
The worst running gag ever.
What is a bird that flies over a football field called?
A fieldgull.
Why are nuns such great sprint runners?
'Cause they're used to being chaste.
I’ve been getting blitzed all game
How did the blind guy from Denver enjoy a bit of apres skiing on Lookout Mountain during the last white-out?
He brought along his skiing-eye dog.
When his wife was preparing his favorite chocolate cake, the baseball player said "Batter Up.