The game of golf is 90-percent mental…
And 10-percent mental.
Which fish can perform operations? A Sturgeon!
Brother: "I saw a seahorse scuba diving"
Dad: "Wow that's amazing, I didn't realise they had the technology."
Many basketball players fail their tests in school because they do not want to pass.
How do ski instructors get to work?
By icicle.
Golf is what you play…
When you’re too out of shape to play softball.
Why did the pirate captain want to hire a baseball player?
He knew he had a chest protector.
What is the worst advice a coach could ever give to a nude volleyball team? Play hard.
I know my shot was in. But I won’t argue, because I’m not up for the challenge.
I saw the chicken quickly crossing the basketball court? Then I remembered that the referee was blowing fowls.
Did you see the guy with quad-arms play tennis? He has a great four-hand.
Why did the kicker finally decide to marry his high school sweetheart?
She was a fair catch!
What is the difference between a ball hog and time?
Time passes.
What does the pope eat during lent? Holy mackerel!
What trophy do you get if you never score any points? The Art Rouse.
They say I’m too indecisive to be a tennis umpire
but I still haven’t ruled it out.
I’ve been getting blitzed all game.
Did I tell you about my new girlfriend who also plays football?
Yeah.. she‘s a keeper
What did the skiier say when his standup act was going downhill fast?
There snow possible way these puns could be more painful.
What do you get if you cross a baseball pitcher and a carpet?
A throw rug.
Which is the coolest football team in Italy?
AC Milan.
What is a volleyball player’s favorite drink? Sets on the Beach.
What happens if you read too many Painful baseball Puns?
You're left in stitches.
What trophy does a stay-at-home defencemen win? The Snorris!
You shouldn't wear glasses when playing football...
They say it's a contact sport.
I applied for a job as an Instructor at a Scuba Diving center. The interviewer wanted to know if I can work well under pressure.
I may not be the biggest football fan, but I love tight ends.
Would Gretzky have changed his name in order to play in Mexico?
Yes, The Great Juan did what it takes.
Where do ghosts play volleyball at? At the volleyball corpse.
Which baseball player makes the best pancakes?
The batter.
What do you call a free treadmill?
The Great Outdoors.
How are a volleyball player and a carpenter similar? They both love to hammer spikes.
In the history of bowling, there is one bowler who floats like a butterfly and stings pretty much like a bee. His name is Muhammad Alley.
Is there a bathroom in this tennis club? Because I’m about to drop a deuce.
Don’t pass on this party – rush on over.
Why was the baseball player so good at writing advertising jingles?
Because they're so catchy.
What do you do if a running back swallows the football?
You have to get him to cough it up!
Which cartoon character is the best at baseball?
Homer Simpson.
Why is Cinderella bad at football?
Because she’s always running away from the ball.
Everyone wondered why Cinderella was such a bad player. If only they knew, her coach was a pumpkin.
What is the first time that a volleyball match was talked about in the Bible? When Joseph served in the Pharaoh’s court.
Will the Red Wings be able to replace their venerable captain Steve? No, because
when it comes to hockey smarts there is no Yzer man.
What is a golfer’s favorite bird?
Any birdie will do.
How do snowboarders introduce themselves when they meet somebody on the slopes?
Sorry Dude.
Before they go out to a basketball game, all cheerleaders down several bottles of root beer.
Where do Danish players aim with the puck? Top kroner.
[Water Slide] I was going to get some work done, but I decided to let it slide.
Why did the uncouth spud not stop talking during the football game?
Because he was a common-tater.
Why did the football referee have trouble measuring the first down?
Someone was yanking his chain!
I used to hate tennis, but ever since I’ve started winning 6-0, I love it now.