What do Walter Payton and Luke Skywalker have in common?
They both did great with a hand off!
Why can’t I ever win a game returning serve? Give me a break.
Bowlers pay a lot of money to play. This is because it is a bum per lane.
In a conversation between one pin and another, one said, “Let us never split.”
Why are football players not allowed in bowling alleys?
After getting a strike, they spike the ball.
Why was McGruff the Crime Dog ejected from the football game?
He was called for unnecessary gruffness!
What do you get if you cross a tree and a baseball player? Babe Root.
By the seat of one’s punt
Ski Area Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, I bet this chair lift weighs enough to break the ice.
I feel tail great!
There is no glory in practice, but without practice there can be no glory. This volleyball pun is very inspirational. For you to do your best, you have to be willing to practice.
Where do sperm play football?
In a con-dome.
The best holiday for you to go bowling is thanksgiving because you will get turkeys.
What it is it called if you refuse to go running today?
Resistance Training!
Who was the fastest runner of all time?
Adam. He was the first in the human race.
If you doubt whether bowling is a sport, get it from me, that yes, it is a sport, but for people who have talent to spare.
Why was the baseball player so good at writing advertising jingles?
Because they're so catchy.
What do you get when you run behind a car?
Exhausted!
What is a bird that flies over a football field called?
A fieldgull.
Why can't you tell a joke while ice fishing? Because it'll crack you up!.
What has 18 legs, spits a lot, and catches flies?
A baseball team.
Why do blind people hate diving?
It scares the hell out of their dogs.
What do you call a boat full of polite football players?
A good sportsman ship
What do you call the basketball move where you drink too much alcohol and score?
SlamDrunk!
How do crazy runners go through the forest?
They take the psychopath!
What do you call a basketball team that cries after they lose the game?
A bawl club.
Why did the football coach attempt to destroy the vending machine?
Cuz it wouldn't give him his quarterback.
Basketball is the only sport where the basket is filled but never gets full.
Why was the football pitch a triangle?
Because someone took a corner
Why do gnomes like baseball? Gnome Runs.
What should you wear when you play against the National Volleyball Team? Football helmets.
A man named Martin Draw was campaigning for the Senate. He printed up shirts saying “I’m with Draw” to support his campaign. The next day, he wore the shirt to a tennis tournament. When he walked up to the tournament desk, the director handed him his money back and asked him why he couldn’t play.
How are waiters and blockers similar? When they do a good job, they get a big fat tip.
What do you call a woman standing in the middle of a tennis court?
Anette.
Why do stoner tourists spend so much money while on a skiing holiday at Aspen?
Because they're high rollers!
What do the guys at the ski repair shop eat their lunch on?
Baseplates.
I like big punts and I cannot lie
When is the course too wet to play golf?
When your golf cart capsizes.
Why can’t a fish every play volleyball? They are afraid of the net.
What did the foot say to the football?
I toed you.
Why did the baseball batter go crazy?
Because the pitcher only threw scewballs.
Why was the basketball court so slippery?
Because all the players were dribbling on it.
Where do football players go shopping in the offseason? The tackle shop.
What do you call a fish whith a car? A carfish!
Which violation do ghosts get called for the most in basketball?
Ghoul tending.
Oh buoy – we’re having a splash bash!
We all sat by the fireplace listening to the basketballer’s story. At some point, I found it unbelievable. It was such a tall tale!
Native Americans used to have their own professional tennis tournaments, and provided free housing to players from other tribes. They called it the A Tee Pee Tour. (No disrespect to Native Americans!)
Volleyball is air affair. This would be a good motto for your team.
The refs kept calling interference, even though goalmouth incidents were in
de-crease.