Golf balls are like eggs…
They’re white, they are sold by the dozen, and a week later you have to buy more.
The perfect name for a pig that plays basketball is a ball hog.
Setters do it better. This sounds like a good motto to put on a T-shirt.
How does a volleyball team welcome their new neighbors? With a block party.
Don’t pass on this party – rush on over.
Why was the mummy added to the game as a pinch hitter?
Because the manager knew he could wrap it up.
Why did a baseball player decide to take a job at a used car lot during his off season?
He wanted to work on his sales pitch.
Why did the skier from Helsinki dominate the downhill slalom competition?
He led the race from start to Finnish.
Why did the volleyball player have ropes and shoe strings? They wanted to tie the score.
Kicking off the afternoon in the best way possible
Cold Ski Pun of the Day: I'm tired of slalom skiing. Alpine over another telemark now.
Chairlift Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, is it really windy up here, or are you just blowing me away?
What does a basketball player say when he misses?
Shoot!
What is a golfer’s favorite dance move?
The Bogey.
What do you call a winged insect that hits home runs?
A fly swatter.
What do you get for diving into a wave of oranges.
Vitamin Sea.
The best place on earth to shop for soccer kits is New Jersey.
If you want to impress the crowd, hit overheads. Every point will be a smash hit.
How can you tell when a coach doesn’t know what they are doing? When the real coach is yelling from in the stands.
I really hate these strings. I can feel it in my gut.
Why should you never go back in time to alter the outcome of a football game?
You’ll be called for past interference!
This event is sure to be out of bounds.
Though it sounds mean, a bad soccer team is much like an old bra. It has no cups and minimal support.
Why wasn't the jogger all that bummed out when his girlfriend broke up with him?
'Cause they had a good run.
Why are volleyball players always so blameless? They always pass the blame and try to avoid faults.
What swims in the sea, carries a machine gun, and makes you an offer you can't refuse? The Codfather
It feels great to hit the ball again. It spin a long time.
Went on a diving trip with strangers and found a sunken vessel. We're all pitching in to salvage and rebuild it.
I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friend-ship.
Why did the kid pursue scuba diving?
Because all his grades are below C-level.
I tried to hit the picture cleanly over the fence, but it was framed.
Where's the weak spot on a Scottish goalie? The fief hole.
Ski Area Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, know what I have in common with this new powder? 8 inches.
What do runners eat before a big race?
Fast food.
The reason why soccer players are brilliant in math is because they know how to use their heads well.
What do you call the basketball move where you drink too much alcohol and score?
SlamDrunk!
Why do you need six players to carry the volleyball to the game? No one can carry the volleyball and a whole team.
Our game is as tight as our spandex. This would be an awesome team motto.
What type of football player is the biggest drug addict?
The lineman.
What do you get if you cross a ski instructor and a vampire?
Frostbite.
If you want a loyal marriage, get hitched to a basketball player. He will never pass you, rather he will keep you all to himself.
How many Winter Park ski instructors does it take to change a light bulb?
Three. One to screw it in, and two to say, "Nice Turns, Nice Turns!"
I tried to start a soccer club so I put up some posters on a local bulletin board.
Just to get the ball rolling.
Did you hear the terrible rumor about the volleyball player? That’s what she set!
Did you hear the joke about the pop fly? Oh, nevermind. It was over your head...
Where do sperm play football?
In a con-dome.
Is your eyesight as bad as your cell phone reception? Because that was a terrible call.
The calm before the score
There is a commonality between a thanksgiving and a bowler guest. They both love turkey.
Why did the hotdogger quit skiing at MaryJane?
Because it was the wurst stunt skier at Winter Park Resort.
Poor white splash.
They call me Ace, because you just got served.