I have a lot of respect for fans of football teams that consist of only ghosts
They have a lot of spirit.
Who's got a penchant for spearing? Pronger!
What did they call Dracula after his team won the big game?
The Champire.
Do you know why an octopus is so good at Football?
It gets ten tackles a play.
What do you call a very slow skier?
A slope-poke.
What do you call 2 Mexicans playing tennis?
Juan on Juan!
What is the favorite sport for the young bass? It is the bass get ball.
If fish lived on land, in which country would they live? Finland.
If there's a Tim Horton's chain, should there be a Lanny McDonald's? Or Doug
Harvey's? And what about Ron's Francise?
A certain Leafs right-winger was sued by the Louisiana government. He was
Owen N'awlins.
After the Moroccan scored a Hat-trick, the players gathered for the fez-off.
I had a really good fantasy football team.
Then, My Luck ran out.
The game of golf is 90-percent mental…
And 10-percent mental.
What's the difference between a sorority girl and a bowling ball?
You can only fit 3 fingers in a bowling ball.
Which athlete wrote the book, Jumping for Exercize?
Lee Ping.
What do you call a boat full of polite football players?
A good sportsman ship.
What country do marathoners retire to?
Iran.
Have you ever played quiet tennis?
It's just like regular tennis but without the racket.
The perfect name for a pig that plays basketball is a ball hog.
My friend Elmer’s has gotten really good at tennis ever since he stuck to a healthier diet and went glue-ten free.
Why was the baseball player so good at writing advertising jingles?
Because they're so catchy.
A guy walks into the bar.
It's hardly surprising he didn't make the steeplechase team, on reflection.
Why don't skeletons play baseball?
Because they don't have the heart for it.
Basketball players at times get athletes foot. Come to think of it, it is like the missle toe astronauts get.
What does the ski bum do when the chairlift line is too long?
He's gondola top of the mountain.
Ed Belfour's new contract offer isn't high compared to other goal tenders.
Why can't you tell a joke while ice fishing? Because it'll crack you up!.
Golf balls are like eggs…
They’re white, they are sold by the dozen, and a week later you have to buy more.
Mary didn’t miss a first serve the entire match. It was not her fault she lost.
What do you get when you run behind a car?
Exhausted!
. What do you call it when you heard the same jogger pun earlier, yet laughed again?
A running joke.
What do golf and se* have in common?
They’re two things you can enjoy even if you’re bad at both of them.
What do runners do when they forget something?
They jog their memory!
Join us for plenty of play action.
Poor white splash.
We’ll kickoff the party with some cocktails.
Why should you not play volleyball in court? Because you could get arrested.
Pardon me if I’m being pool-itically incorrect.
Why did the volleyball player get thrown out of the party? He spiked the punch.
What happened when the football coach’s dog ran onto the field during a game?
He got called for ineligible retriever down field!
How do baseball players stay in contact with each other?
They touch base every once in a while.
Ski Area Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, do you believe in love at first sight, or should I go around this chairlift again?
What’s a Movers favorite football team?
The Packers!
The only time a basketball team can chase a baseball team is five after nine.
Would Gretzky have changed his name in order to play in Mexico?
Yes, The Great Juan did what it takes.
How many Winter Park ski instructors does it take to change a light bulb?
Three. One to screw it in, and two to say, "Nice Turns, Nice Turns!"
When is an MLB ballpark the hottest?
After all the fans have left.
There is no glory in practice, but without practice there can be no glory. This volleyball pun is very inspirational. For you to do your best, you have to be willing to practice.
This pool is impressive. Or should I say swim-pressive?
We had an argument on our way back from the tournament. Our position is that their goal was stopping ours.