Which cartoon character is the best at baseball?
Homer Simpson.
The crowd had filled up the venue and everyone was waiting for the bowling alley to open. Finally, they got the ball rolling.
Why was the marathon runner plucked out of the race and taken away to jail?
For resisting a rest.
I feel tail great!
Why is learning to ski in France so difficult?
'Cause sometimes they won't Alp you.
Why did the ski instructor ask for a divorce?
He found out his wife is a real flake.
Why did the skier from Helsinki dominate the downhill slalom competition?
He led the race from start to Finnish.
What are the rules in zebra baseball?
Three stripes, and you're out.
What do baseball players eat their backyard BBQ on?
Home plates.
What did the magician say to the fisherman?
"Pick a cod, any cod."
Where do ski instructors keep their money?
In the local snow bank.
Did you hear that Notre Dame gave up four interceptions last week?
Knute Rockne would turnover in his grave!
Why did the volleyball player not want to travel? Because he had been there and dug that.
Why is it annoying to eat next to basketball players?
They dribble all the time.
Why are fisherman so stingy?
Their jobs make them sel-fish!
Birds too love cheering on their soccer teams. They egg them on.
Both tournament directors published the schedule at the same time. It was a draw.
My girlfriend told me she's breaking up with me because of my football obsession.
I told her she'll need to wait till the summer window if she wants a free transfer.
What do you get if cross a baseball player and a monster?
A double header.
What do you get for diving into a wave of oranges.
Vitamin Sea.
Why are fish so smart Because they swim in schools!
Why did the baseball player decide to shut down his website?
It just wasn't getting any hits.
[Donuts] We’re going the hole nine yards for this game.
What do volleyball players like in bed? Kinky sets.
In later years was the Great One in decline? Yes he was on the Wayne.
What did the foot say to the football?
I toed you.
The bowling team of which I am captain is known lightning. This is because we get countless strikes.
Why did the guy decide not to donate a dime to any charity raising funds for a marathon?
Because they just take the money and run.
Why did the hotdogger quit skiing at MaryJane?
Because it was the wurst stunt skier at Winter Park Resort.
Did you know Karl Marx's sister invented the starting pistol?
Her name was Onya Marx.
The only time a basketball team can chase a baseball team is five after nine.
Two racquets started dating. Unfortunately, one was stringing the other along without any intention of tying the knot.
Did you see the guy with quad-arms play tennis? He has a great four-hand.
What did his wife give the guy when he came home all sweaty from his run?
The stink eye.
This is one spray-cation to remember.
Where do point guards take their dates to party after the game?
To a basket ball.
What do skiers get if they sit in the snow for too long?
Polaroids!
Which classical Greek may have actually invented baseball?
Homer.
Why did the blonde skier cut a hole near the top of her boyfriend's ski parka?
She wanted to give him the cold shoulder.
Ski Area Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, want me to jump off this chairlift for you? 'Cause I think I could fall for you.
What is a cyclops' favorite winter activity?
Sking. That's like skiing, but only with one eye.
What did the football coach say to the broken vending machine?
Give me my quarter back.
Here’s more proof that I’ve gone off the deep end.
As a Brit, I can't get into American football
They rugby the wrong way.
How many volleyball referees do you need to screw in a light bulb? None because they are always in the dark.
You shouldn't wear glasses when playing football...
They say it's a contact sport.
[Bundled Up Guy] This is what you call man coverage.
Why did a baseball player decide to take a job at a used car lot during his off season?
He wanted to work on his sales pitch.
Why did the ski instructor's love life always go downhill? The first thing the ladies noticed about him was his giant slalom.
Football pitches are almost always so wet. This is because soccer players dribble a lot.