And yes, gnomes are always trying to get to first base with the ladies.
How do snowboarders introduce themselves when they meet somebody on the slopes?
Sorry Dude.
Why do the ladies love baseball?
Because diamonds are a girl's best friend.
I tried to hit the picture cleanly over the fence, but it was framed.
What swims in the sea, carries a machine gun, and makes you an offer you can't refuse? The Codfather
When she saw all the madness around her, March said, “what’s all that bracket”.
If you want a loyal marriage, get hitched to a basketball player. He will never pass you, rather he will keep you all to himself.
How did the blind guy from Denver enjoy a bit of apres skiing on Lookout Mountain during the last white-out?
He brought along his skiing-eye dog.
Did you see the guy with quad-arms play tennis? He has a great four-hand.
Basketball players are not that patient to follow-through an elaborate court-ship procedure.
I made a snap decision to watch football today.
Which Habs great once worked as a janitor? Broom-Broom Geoffrion.
[Water Slide] I was going to get some work done, but I decided to let it slide.
Are you still wondering why the basketball player could listen to his music? Don’t you know he broke a record!
What do runners do when they forget something?
They jog their memory!
Why did the college football team stop smoking
They lost all their matches.
Why did the baseball batter go crazy?
Because the pitcher only threw scewballs.
We’ll have a ball.
What is the fastest way to make a setter angry? Each time you make a pass, tell the setter the ball is “Up” and then say “Yours!”
Why can't you tell a joke while ice fishing? Because it'll crack you up!.
What country do marathoners retire to?
Iran.
I had a really good fantasy football team.
Then, My Luck ran out.
Why are some umpires fat?
Because they always clean the plate.
What happened when an icicle landed on the skier's head?
It knocked him out cold!
What did his wife give the guy when he came home all sweaty from his run?
The stink eye.
Football pitches are almost always so wet. This is because soccer players dribble a lot.
What does a bowler and a Thanksgiving guest have in common?
They both want a Turkey.
What’s a Movers favorite football team?
The Packers!
Why was the mummy added to the game as a pinch hitter?
Because the manager knew he could wrap it up.
If fish lived on land, in which country would they live? Finland.
For instant fun, just add water.
How does a volleyball team welcome their new neighbors? With a block party.
Even if injuries end it prematurely, Paul's had a good Kariya.
Longfellow is the known poet of basketball.
How do crazy runners go through the forest?
They take the psychopath!
You cannot strike it, if you don’t try it.
Why are Scandinavians the fastest runners in the world?
Because they start out near the Finnish line.
There is a commonality between a thanksgiving and a bowler guest. They both love turkey.
What do you call a free treadmill?
The Great Outdoors.
What’s the difference between a punter and punster?
A punster gets his kicks with bad puns like these!
o my friend Justin was late for the football game.
But that’s okay because he arrived Justin time for kickoff.
What did the bad soccer announcer get for Christmas?
COOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
How can you tell when a coach doesn’t know what they are doing? When the real coach is yelling from in the stands.
Basketball is the only sport where the basket is filled but never gets full.
All punts are highly intended
If ten zombies run after you, what time is it?
Ten after one.
When the baseball team chose an owl masot, did they get a designated hooter?
What did one hillbilly say to another? I got a new fly rod and reel for my wife. Best trade I ever made.
Oh, I thought I was playing the first round, but I guess I got a free pass. Bye.
I tried to start a soccer club so I put up some posters on a local bulletin board.
Just to get the ball rolling.