Why is it annoying to eat next to basketball players?
They dribble all the time.
How do recreational league baseball players stay so cool?
They sit among their fans.
Two tomatoes went jogging. One trips and falls. The other tomato said, "Grab my Heinz and I'll help you up." Trippy tomato replies, "Nah, you go ahead. I'll ketchup."
There are many grounds religious children can practice their soccer skills. However, most of them love the prayground.
Fred is so condescending about my tennis strokes. I can’t take any more of his backhanded compliments.
What do you call a basketball team that cries after they lose the game?
A bawl club.
Why did the college football team stop smoking
They lost all their matches.
Don’t drop the ball – without you, the party will be incomplete.
If you golf on election day…
Be sure to cast an absent-tee ballot.
What country do marathoners retire to?
Iran.
Why did DPD rush to Coors Field?
They heard somebody stole third base.
Where does a fish keep his money In the River Bank!
Do you know how to dunk cookies? Ask a basketball chef.
I’ve been getting blitzed all game.
What is a defensive football players favorite dessert?
Apple Turnover.
Why did the blonde run backward?
She wanted to gain weight.
Did you hear about the Owl that could play American football?
It was a superb_owl.
Why do referees always hurry to catch their next flight? Because it's "two
minutes 'fore boarding!"
Which Nordique great has recurring ligament problems? Peter Spaz-knee!
Why don't skeletons play baseball?
Because they don't have the heart for it.
Everybody wants to light up a soccer stadium. However, this is only possible using a soccer match.
Which basketball team is the favorite at the North Pole?
The New York Old Saint Knicks.
When you go with an army general onto a bowling alley, he will start bowling even before you enter his name on the scoreboard.
Why don't skeletons ski the black diamond runs at Copper Mountain?
They've got soul, but they just don't have the heart for it.
I went to Oxford University, where I was a philosophy major and the starting goalkeeper on the football team.
They called me Soccertes.
Why did the kid pursue scuba diving?
Because all his grades are below C-level.
What should you do when you play volleyball against a team of satanists? You beat the hell out of them.
Ana hits a lot of floating shots that her opponents destroy for winners. We need to sitter down and have a talk.
What do you call the basketball move where you drink too much alcohol and score?
SlamDrunk!
Why do hitters find it so hard to be productive when they are indoors? They always work on an angle to play outside.
Why don't baseball players join unions?
They don't like to be called out on strike.
Scuba diving is a good hobby... if you wanna hit rock bottom.
My strategy is simple, knocking them down a pin at a time.
Which position does the son of Dracula play on the baseball team?
Bat boy.
There is one commonality between a magician and a soccer player. They both do hat tricks.
My football teammate asked me, “On a scale of 1-10, how do you rate our after-victory celebration?”
I gave him a high five.
Why can’t a car play football?
Because it only has one boot.
The perfect name for a pig that plays basketball is a ball hog.
What does the ski bum do when the chairlift line is too long?
He's gondola top of the mountain.
What is the 7th pin in bowling called? Mother-In-Law!
The calm before the score
The judge sentenced the basketball player to life imprisonment because he shot the ball.
Why did the volleyball player get thrown out of the party? He spiked the punch.
What did they give former Flyers left-winger Brian when he successfully
bulked up? Massive Propps.
If fish lived on land, in which country would they live? Finland.
Scrambled eggs are similar to a losing basketball team because both are beaten.
How are snow boards and vacuum cleaners alike?
Both have dirt bags on board.
Why don't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home is
Why is learning to ski in France so difficult?
'Cause sometimes they won't Alp you.
What did the marathoner do after he won the race?
He decided to go into politics and run for office.