How is it that elephants are always ready for a swim?
They never forget their trunks!
Before they go out to a basketball game, all cheerleaders down several bottles of root beer.
Scuba diving is a good hobby... if you wanna hit rock bottom.
They call me Ace, because you just got served.
Most of your players never make it out of the lower-level tournaments. I highly doubt their Futures as a professional.
What are the rules in zebra baseball?
Three stripes, and you're out.
The beauty with bowling is that you can get three strikes, but you still remain in the game.
Basketball players at times get athletes foot. Come to think of it, it is like the missle toe astronauts get.
Hope you’re wide open on [date].
Summer is just floating by.
The basketball player sat on the sideline and began sketching pictures of chickens. He was learning how to draw fowls.
You can’t possibly play soccer in the amazon jungle because there are far too many cheetahs.
If you want a loyal marriage, get hitched to a basketball player. He will never pass you, rather he will keep you all to himself.
We’ll kickoff the party with some cocktails.
Why should somebody who's just out of rehab think twice before going on a skiing holiday?
Because it's a slippery slope.
Which football playoff team are Star Trek fans rooting for ?
The Green Bay Picards.
The only difference between time and a ball hog is that the former passes.
hat do you call it when a runner from Moscow starts a race at Red Square that ends in Finland?
Russian to the Finnish.
Why couldn't the garden gnome run in the marathon?
Because he's not part of the human race!
What are a golfer’s favorite flowers?
Fore-get-me-nots.
Opposing coaches facing the Leafs in the 60s and 70s knew that Dave was the
one to Keon.
Why did the volleyball player get sent to jail? Because he was set up.
I prefer the new system to reviewing line calls. When Hawk-eye came around, I breathed a big Cy-clops of relief.
What did the fish say when it hit a concrete wall "Dam!"
Everyone is getting so paranoid, and diving into conspiracy theories lately...
Must be something in the water.
If you make a mistake of playing basketball with pigs, they will hog the ball.
Why do so few vegetarians become competitive swimmers?
They don’t like the swim meats!
Their soccer team and the US navy had one thing in common, they both spent over $50 million on a sub.
Ski Area Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, want me to jump off this chairlift for you? 'Cause I think I could fall for you.
Why is Cinderella bad at soccer?
Because she’s always running away from the ball.
Why can't tomatoes ever beat lettuce in a race?
Because lettuce is always a head, and tomatoes have to ketchup!
I know my shot was in. But I won’t argue, because I’m not up for the challenge.
Where can you find the biggest diamond in the world?
On a baseball field.
When is an MLB ballpark the hottest?
After all the fans have left.
What’s a Movers favorite football team?
The Packers!
What do a rabid rabbit and a basketball player have in common?
Mad hops.
What did the baseball glove say to the ball?
Catch ya later.
The game of golf is 90-percent mental…
And 10-percent mental.
What keeps the beat in a baseball song?
The bass line.
Why are nuns such great sprint runners?
'Cause they're used to being chaste.
Why are pilots so bad at basketball?
Because they're always traveling.
Why do stoner tourists spend so much money while on a skiing holiday at Aspen?
Because they're high rollers!
The crowd had filled up the venue and everyone was waiting for the bowling alley to open. Finally, they got the ball rolling.
I’ve been getting blitzed all game
The judge sentenced the basketball player to life imprisonment because he shot the ball.
What did they call Dracula after his team won the big game?
The Champire.
Why do golfers hate cake?
Because they might get a slice.
Did you hear about the Heisman Trophy candidate who falsified his rushing stats?
The yards were stacked in his favor!
We had an argument on our way back from the tournament. Our position is that their goal was stopping ours.
Why did the ski instructor ask for a divorce?
He found out his wife is a real flake.