Fred is so condescending about my tennis strokes. I can’t take any more of his backhanded compliments.
Why did the blonde run backward?
She wanted to gain weight.
After the guy broke his arm skiing, he realized it was all downhill from there.
What did one hillbilly say to another? I got a new fly rod and reel for my wife. Best trade I ever made.
My girlfriend told me she's breaking up with me because of my football obsession.
I told her she'll need to wait till the summer window if she wants a free transfer.
What do volleyball players do when they go to church? Serve God.
[Bundled Up Guy] This is what you call man coverage.
Why do volleyball players love to swim? They like diving in the deep and then floating in the shallow.
When she saw all the madness around her, March said, “what’s all that bracket”.
What's the difference between a sorority girl and a bowling ball?
You can only fit 3 fingers in a bowling ball.
Which front-office type is the most promiscuous? The general ménageur.
In later years was the Great One in decline? Yes he was on the Wayne.
Why did the volleyball player get sent to jail? Because he was set up.
Scuba diving is a good hobby... if you wanna hit rock bottom.
If ten zombies run after you, what time is it?
Ten after one.
I’m establishing my punning game early today.
Beauty is only pig skin deep
Guy: Have you ever been fishing before? Girl: Why? Boy: I think we should hook up!
Poor white splash.
I used to hate tennis, but ever since I’ve started winning 6-0, I love it now.
Why are pilots so bad at basketball?
Because they're always traveling.
I feel tail great!
hat do you call it when a runner from Moscow starts a race at Red Square that ends in Finland?
Russian to the Finnish.
What trophy do you get if you never score any points? The Art Rouse.
Why was the criminal dubbed the Beer Runner let go after being arrested for stealing 23 beers?
'Cause the prosecutors didn't have a case.
Did you hear about the rundown swimming pool?
It was a real dive!
What's the best advice to give to a young baseball player?
If you don't suceed at first, try second base.
What is a bird that flies over a football field called?
A fieldgull.
Basketball is the only sport where the basket is filled but never gets full.
My football teammate asked me, “On a scale of 1-10, how do you rate our after-victory celebration?”
I gave him a high five.
Why is Cinderella bad at football?
Because she’s always running away from the ball.
Who was the fastest runner of all time?
Adam. He was the first in the human race.
My life-long rival just beat my record for deep-sea diving.
This is a new low.
Would they get two minutes for tripping?
Not if they spliff the defence.
Why did the volleyball player not want to travel? Because he had been there and dug that.
What do you call a giant that's good at football?
Goaliath.
Though it sounds mean, a bad soccer team is much like an old bra. It has no cups and minimal support.
Having a ball
Ed Belfour's new contract offer isn't high compared to other goal tenders.
Do you know why an octopus is so good at Football?
It gets ten tackles a play.
How do volleyball players deliver their messages? Through Air Mail.
Did you hear about the battery and the volleyball who got into a fight? The volleyball is waiting to go to church and the battery was charged.
What did the skiier say when his standup act was going downhill fast?
There snow possible way these puns could be more painful.
Today I donated my old basketball hoop to a school for the blind.
It will be missed.
Why do golfers hate cake?
Because they might get a slice.
Did you hear about the Owl that could play American football?
It was a superb_owl.
They say that volleyball is just mind over matter. Because in our minds, you don’t matter.
The toilets at an AMF are known as the boweling alleys.
Longfellow is the known poet of basketball.
What do Walter Payton and Luke Skywalker have in common?
They both did great with a hand off!