What did one hillbilly say to another? I got a new fly rod and reel for my wife. Best trade I ever made.
Why was the football pitch a triangle?
Because someone took a corner
Football is one habit I will never kick.
Why was the potato fired from his job at the football stadium?
He was a horrible commentater.
Why do stoner tourists spend so much money while on a skiing holiday at Aspen?
Because they're high rollers!
Did you hear the joke about the pop fly? Oh, nevermind. It was over your head...
Ana hits a lot of floating shots that her opponents destroy for winners. We need to sitter down and have a talk.
What keeps the beat in a baseball song?
The bass line.
Why are football players not allowed in bowling alleys?
After getting a strike, they spike the ball.
Ed Belfour's new contract offer isn't high compared to other goal tenders.
What does a runner lose after winning the race?
His breath.
I like my breakfast like my tennis grip: Continental.
Prepare to be bowled over.
How do ski instructors get to work?
By icicle.
Why don't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home is
What do you call it when you've choked on water while jogging every morning this week?
The worst running gag ever.
I’m a baseliner and I don’t know how to volley: my game would disappear if I went to no-man’s land.
My favorite sport is bowling cause I always strike out with girls.
You shouldn't wear glasses when playing football...
They say it's a contact sport.
How did the blind guy from Denver enjoy a bit of apres skiing on Lookout Mountain during the last white-out?
He brought along his skiing-eye dog.
Which baseball player makes the best pancakes?
The batter.
The only ship that has never docked on their harbor is the premiership.
Why can't Bill Clinton go scuba diving?
He won't inhale.
What are the favorite video games for basketball players? Shooting stars.
I got so mad at my partner hitting moonballs, I had to pusher off the court.
What do volleyball players watch during their free time? They watch Spike TV.
The success in this sport is not how you bowl, but how you roll.
I know an untidy guy who’s excellent at playing soccer.
What a Messi guy.
What do police officers do when they are on the volleyball court? They serve and protect.
Where do baseball players wash up?
In the bat tub.
What do you call it when a football player suffers a career-ending injury in his last game before retirement? Gridirony!
How do baseball players stay in contact with each other?
They touch base every once in a while.
Why did they arrest the volleyball player? They suspected foul play.
The Montreal baseball team relocated to Tampa after being purchased by the
Exposito bros.
How do volleyball players deliver their messages? Through Air Mail.
Ski Area Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, do you believe in love at first sight, or should I go around this chairlift again?
What do you call a free treadmill?
The Great Outdoors.
hat do you call it when a runner from Moscow starts a race at Red Square that ends in Finland?
Russian to the Finnish.
Most of your players never make it out of the lower-level tournaments. I highly doubt their Futures as a professional.
If you want a loyal marriage, get hitched to a basketball player. He will never pass you, rather he will keep you all to himself.
What do baseball players eat their backyard BBQ on?
Home plates.
The calm before the score
What do you call a small fish magician? A magic carpet
The perfect description of a bowling game is one where there is plenty of room at the top, but no room to lie down.
What do you call a boat full of polite football players?
A good sportsman ship
Why did the basketball player sign up for a crafting class?
He wanted to learn how to make baskets.
Why do you need six players to carry the volleyball to the game? No one can carry the volleyball and a whole team.
How do you call football without shoes?
Socker.
Federer is such a legend that they named the Roger’s Cup, and Fed Cup after him.
Where do ghosts play volleyball at? At the volleyball corpse.