Why was the potato fired from his job at the football stadium?
He was a horrible commentater.
Where do Danish players aim with the puck? Top kroner.
Many basketball players fail their tests in school because they do not want to pass.
How did the blind guy from Denver enjoy a bit of apres skiing on Lookout Mountain during the last white-out?
He brought along his skiing-eye dog.
The main difference between a dog and a basketball player is that one dribbles while the other one drools.
Why don't baseball players join unions?
They don't like to be called out on strike.
Why can’t I ever win a game returning serve? Give me a break.
Prepare to be bowled over.
What do the guys at the ski repair shop eat their lunch on?
Baseplates.
Spending time at the pool really floats my boat.
If the wooden face mask was popularized by Jacques Plante, was the wooden
cup made popular by Jock Plank?
I’m icing the kicker – and by kicker, I mean beer.
What does a bowler and a Thanksgiving guest have in common?
They both want a Turkey.
The ref keeps shafting us the offsides; I think he's blue lyin'.
Footballers love one specific type of tea; penal-tea.
How are snow boards and vacuum cleaners alike?
Both have dirt bags on board.
I tried to start a soccer club so I put up some posters on a local bulletin board.
Just to get the ball rolling.
Why did the hotdogger quit skiing at MaryJane?
Because it was the wurst stunt skier at Winter Park Resort.
Oh buoy – we’re having a splash bash!
Cold Ski Pun of the Day: I'm tired of slalom skiing. Alpine over another telemark now.
Chairlift Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, is it really windy up here, or are you just blowing me away?
Ed Belfour's new contract offer isn't high compared to other goal tenders.
Why did the blonde volleyball player end up getting fired from her waitressing job? Someone said she needed to serve the food.
Where did the Flopper work in the offseason? At Dominik's Hat-Check.
I know an untidy guy who’s excellent at playing soccer.
What a Messi guy.
I just watched Sunday Night Football.
There were Lutz and Lutz of field goals.
Why should you swim in an ool instead of a pool?
Because there’s no “p” in it!
What did the football player say to the flight attendant?
"Put me in coach."
Skier in ER: Doc, I slipped on my way to the chairlift.
Doctor: Icy.
Where do ski instructors keep their money?
In the local snow bank.
Do you know the easiest way to stop squirrels from playing soccer in your garden is to hide the ball? Well, it drives them nuts.
How do you tell which is the Groom at a Polish wedding?
He's the one with the CLEAN bowling shirt
What does the ski bum do when the chairlift line is too long?
He's gondola top of the mountain.
The crowd had filled up the venue and everyone was waiting for the bowling alley to open. Finally, they got the ball rolling.
Brother: "I saw a seahorse scuba diving"
Dad: "Wow that's amazing, I didn't realise they had the technology."
Where can you find the biggest diamond in the world?
On a baseball field.
hat do you call it when a runner from Moscow starts a race at Red Square that ends in Finland?
Russian to the Finnish.
They say I’m too indecisive to be a tennis umpire
but I still haven’t ruled it out.
What’s a Movers favorite football team?
The Packers!
Did you see the guy with quad-arms play tennis? He has a great four-hand.
What does a hunter do with a basketball?
He shoots it.
Do you know why an octopus is so good at Football?
It gets ten tackles a play.
Why don't quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage? Because they produce audible groans!
Why did the volleyball players line up from shortest to tallest? The coach wanted the team to switch from a 5-1 line up to a 6-2.
Which cartoon character is the best at baseball?
Homer Simpson.
Did you hear about the fumbled exorcism? The guy retained possession!
I’m not a bad putter…
I just can’t catch a break.
Defeat in soccer is only bitter if you swallow it.
What is the first time that a volleyball match was talked about in the Bible? When Joseph served in the Pharaoh’s court.
Why do stoner tourists spend so much money while on a skiing holiday at Aspen?
Because they're high rollers!
Why should you you stand on the service line? So that you can order ice cream.