[Beer] This is my number one draft pick.
Why did the football referee have trouble measuring the first down?
Someone was yanking his chain!
What did they call Dracula after his team won the big game?
The Champire.
What happened to the skier who was injured the the top of the peak?
It's been all downhill from there.
I had a girlfriend that went scuba diving...
One day I lobster and never flounder again.
How do ski instructors get to work?
By icicle.
And yes, gnomes are always trying to get to first base with the ladies.
What is a golfer’s favorite bird?
Any birdie will do.
Scrambled eggs are similar to a losing basketball team because both are beaten.
The refs kept calling interference, even though goalmouth incidents were in
de-crease.
What do we call the basketball team that won the donuts championships? – dunkin donuts.
Did you hear about the volleyball players who are getting married? They say it was love at first spike.
What do skiers order at fast food restaurants?
Icebergers with Chilly Sauce, on the slide.
Get in the swim this summer.
I almost brought a screwdriver to the football game, but was stopped by security
They said that match-fixing isn't allowed.
How are waiters and blockers similar? When they do a good job, they get a big fat tip.
What does Darth Vader say when he plays volleyball? May the spike be with you.
What do Walter Payton and Luke Skywalker have in common?
They both did great with a hand off!
What did the baseball glove say to the ball?
Catch ya later.
I’ve never lost a game of football basketball or volleyball!
Though I’ve never played a game either.
Why was the Copper Mountain skier taken to the emergency room?
He hurt his ski bum.
What's the difference between a sorority girl and a bowling ball?
You can only fit 3 fingers in a bowling ball.
What do you get when you run behind a car?
Exhausted!
The bowling solder decided to launch a pre-emptive strike.
Basketball players make good husbands. They never shoot their wives.
Why did the baseball player decide to shut down his website?
It just wasn't getting any hits.
A spectator at a baseball game wondered why the ball kept getting bigger and bigger. Then, it hit him.
Where do ski instructors keep their money?
In the local snow bank.
Who wrote the fantasy novel How To Be A Better Baseball Player?
Ben Schwarmer.
I tried to hit the picture cleanly over the fence, but it was framed.
If you do bowling and for some reason you can’t hear a pin drop, something could be wrong with your bowling.
What did the bad soccer announcer get for Christmas?
COOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Which HOF defenceman was nicknamed The Gravedigger? Denis Plotvin.
This summer is going swimmingly.
Do you know how to dunk cookies? Ask a basketball chef.
Football is one habit I will never kick
What do a great hitter and a boxer have in common?
Both are serious sluggers.
Went on a diving trip with strangers and found a sunken vessel. We're all pitching in to salvage and rebuild it.
I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friend-ship.
Everyone wondered why Cinderella was such a bad player. If only they knew, her coach was a pumpkin.
Skier: Doc, I think I'm addicted to skiing at Loveland Ski Are
Shrink: You may be going down a slippery slope. Do you feel a divide?
What swims in the sea, carries a machine gun, and makes you an offer you can't refuse? The Codfather
Did you know that old bowlers do not die? They simply end up in gutters.
What are the favorite video games for basketball players? Shooting stars.
How are baseball umpires and angry chickens alike?
Both make fowl calls.
[Donuts] We’re going the hole nine yards for this game.
Soviet goaltenders got their hair cut at Vladislav's Tress-shack.
Most of your players never make it out of the lower-level tournaments. I highly doubt their Futures as a professional.
Pick-up line: You might as well play be a tennis player, because I’m about to court you girl.
What time should I book the court? Let’s shoot for around tennish.
Why were the volleyball players always tying in tic tac toe? Each time one of them sets an X, the other player just says O.