Golf is what you play…
When you’re too out of shape to play softball.
Who's got a penchant for spearing? Pronger!
Which trophy has the most glitz? The Lady Bling.
Federer is such a legend that they named the Roger’s Cup, and Fed Cup after him.
Opposing coaches facing the Leafs in the 60s and 70s knew that Dave was the
one to Keon.
When his wife was preparing his favorite chocolate cake, the baseball player said "Batter Up.
I just watched Sunday Night Football.
There were Lutz and Lutz of field goals.
What kind of insect is bad at football?
A fumble-bee.
Why do volleyball players love to swim? They like diving in the deep and then floating in the shallow.
No intentional frowning is allowed here.
Why is Cinderella bad at soccer?
Because she’s always running away from the ball.
Jack has a large neck so he decided to wear a bowtie to his wedding. Otherwise, he’d end up with a tiebreak.
What is a defensive football players favorite dessert?
Apple Turnover.
When is an MLB ballpark the hottest?
After all the fans have left.
Why was the Copper Mountain skier taken to the emergency room?
He hurt his ski bum.
Finally, the soccer ball decided to quit the team. The reason behind its move was that it was tied of being kicked around.
Where can you find the biggest diamond in the world?
On a baseball field.
When you go with an army general onto a bowling alley, he will start bowling even before you enter his name on the scoreboard.
Football is one habit I will never kick.
You can never get short balls over the net! Solution: Drop shot from arsenal.
What did the player on the Bumblebee basketball team say after making a foul shot?
Hive Scored!
What’s the difference between a punter and punster?
A punster gets his kicks with bad puns like these!
Why are some umpires fat?
Because they always clean the plate.
I'm currently dating a famous soccer player. He's so loving and caring towards me.
He's a keeper.
What is the difference between a catfish and a lawyer? One is a bottom-dwelling, scum-sucking scavenger and the other is a fish!
What do you call a small fish magician? A magic carpet
Why don't quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage? Because they produce audible groans!
If you want a loyal marriage, get hitched to a basketball player. He will never pass you, rather he will keep you all to himself.
My friend Elmer’s has gotten really good at tennis ever since he stuck to a healthier diet and went glue-ten free.
Why do stoner tourists spend so much money while on a skiing holiday at Aspen?
Because they're high rollers!
Which Habs great once worked as a janitor? Broom-Broom Geoffrion.
Why did the quarterback suddenly walk off the field?
The coach told him to take a hike!
Why did the hotdogger quit skiing at MaryJane?
Because it was the wurst stunt skier at Winter Park Resort.
Why did the blonde volleyball player end up getting fired from her waitressing job? Someone said she needed to serve the food.
Went to a game with my dad today and as we were standing up to sing, the veteran in him kicked in and he began tearing up. I said to him, "You know, technically, national anthems are just…
…country music."
Bowlers do not make good employees. This is because for 80% of the time, they are always going on strike.
Before they go out to a basketball game, all cheerleaders down several bottles of root beer.
As a Brit, I can't get into American football
They rugby the wrong way.
Both tournament directors published the schedule at the same time. It was a draw.
What do you call it when you've choked on water while jogging every morning this week?
The worst running gag ever.
Fred is so condescending about my tennis strokes. I can’t take any more of his backhanded compliments.
Golfer: I’d move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course.
Caddie: Try heaven. You’ve already moved most of the earth.
Scuba diving is a good hobby... if you wanna hit rock bottom.
Prepare to be bowled over.
A man named Martin Draw was campaigning for the Senate. He printed up shirts saying “I’m with Draw” to support his campaign. The next day, he wore the shirt to a tennis tournament. When he walked up to the tournament desk, the director handed him his money back and asked him why he couldn’t play.
What's the greatest problem facing Poland?
The four-ten split.
What does the ski bum do when the chairlift line is too long?
He's gondola top of the mountain.
I want to practice my forehand outside, but it will be wet in the morning and nice later on. So here’s the plan for today: inside-out.
Why don't skeletons ski the black diamond runs at Copper Mountain?
They've got soul, but they just don't have the heart for it.
This summer is going swimmingly.