[Food Spread] This is the line of scrumptiousness.
I went to Oxford University, where I was a philosophy major and the starting goalkeeper on the football team.
They called me Soccertes.
How are waiters and blockers similar? When they do a good job, they get a big fat tip.
Which position does the son of Dracula play on the baseball team?
Bat boy.
Why can’t a fish every play volleyball? They are afraid of the net.
How many middle-hitters do you need to screw in a light bulb? Only one, but the the setter has to put it perfectly in their hand first.
What is the worst advice a coach could ever give to a nude volleyball team? Play hard.
If there's a Tim Horton's chain, should there be a Lanny McDonald's? Or Doug
Harvey's? And what about Ron's Francise?
Why don't baseball players join unions?
They don't like to be called out on strike.
Why don't matches play baseball?
Because one strike, and they're out.
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan.
By the seat of one’s punt
Which trophy has the most glitz? The Lady Bling.
What do you get if you cross a ski instructor and a vampire?
Frostbite.
Where do ghosts play golf?
On a golf corpse.
Ideally, the cost of a bowling game should be ten pinnies. However, with inflation, the price always goes up.
Ed Belfour's new contract offer isn't high compared to other goal tenders.
Why did Tarzan spend so much time on the golf course?
He was perfecting his swing
I like my breakfast like my tennis grip: Continental.
What do you call a free treadmill?
The Great Outdoors.
The calm before the score
In a conversation between one pin and another, one said, “Let us never split.”
Why couldn't the garden gnome run in the marathon?
Because he's not part of the human race!
This pool is impressive. Or should I say swim-pressive?
When the going gets tough, let the pins fall where they may.
What’s the easiest shot in golf?
Your fourth putt.
I’ve been getting blitzed all game.
What happens if you read too many Painful baseball Puns?
You're left in stitches.
A team may be talented, but there is no substitute to this, no train no gain!
If ten zombies run after you, what time is it?
Ten after one.
Football pitches are almost always so wet. This is because soccer players dribble a lot.
What type of films should players watch to improve their shot? Slap stick.
When the baseball team chose an owl masot, did they get a designated hooter?
Is your nickname cream cheese? Because you’re about to get bageled.
What do volleyball players do when they go to church? Serve God.
Why did the kid pursue scuba diving?
Because all his grades are below C-level.
Bowlers do not make good employees. This is because for 80% of the time, they are always going on strike.
How are ladies' baseball teams and cupcakes alike?
Both are delicious and depend on a good batter.
Why did the horny duck circle the baseball field?
She hoped to catch some fowl balls.
Don’t be a wet noodle – join us!
Every player knows pretty well that they cannot afford to go through life without goals.
hat do you call it when a runner from Moscow starts a race at Red Square that ends in Finland?
Russian to the Finnish.
The only time a basketball team can chase a baseball team is five after nine.
Prepare to be bowled over.
Why did the volleyball player not want to travel? Because he had been there and dug that.
Did you hear the joke about the pop fly? Oh, nevermind. It was over your head...
Why did the basketball player sign up for a crafting class?
He wanted to learn how to make baskets.
What might folks in Tokyo find between Godzilla's toes?
Slow runners.
What stat do the Miami Dolphins lead every single year?
All Porpoise Yardage!
Which HOF defenceman was nicknamed The Gravedigger? Denis Plotvin.