How are baseball umpires and angry chickens alike?
Both make fowl calls.
I like your tight end
Where can you find the biggest diamond in the world?
On a baseball field.
What did the football player say to the flight attendant?
"Put me in coach."
Why did the fish cross the road? Cause it was hooked!
What do you call a married couple who compete in the marathon side-by-side?
Running mates.
What do sprinters eat before a race?
Nothing, they fast.
The only problem with golf is...
The slow groups are always in front of you and the fast groups are always behind you.
Golf is a lot like taxes:
You go for the green and wind up in the hole.
If you golf on election day…
Be sure to cast an absent-tee ballot.
Footballers love one specific type of tea; penal-tea.
Did you see the guy with quad-arms play tennis? He has a great four-hand.
I want to play my match outdoors so I can hit the ball higher in the air. I’m not good at persuading people, so I’m going to hire a lob-byist.
And yes, gnomes are always trying to get to first base with the ladies.
I’ve been getting blitzed all game
What does a mom of a football fan hate the most?
A messi room.
Why are pilots so bad at basketball?
Because they're always traveling.
What is the first time that a volleyball match was talked about in the Bible? When Joseph served in the Pharaoh’s court.
There are many grounds religious children can practice their soccer skills. However, most of them love the prayground.
I know my shot was in. But I won’t argue, because I’m not up for the challenge.
This summer is going swimmingly.
The guy missed both his serves on match point. I won by de-fault.
I’m icing the kicker – and by kicker, I mean beer.
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan.
Why did the volleyball players like to practice in the library? Their coach said that they’d be doing some reading today.
How does a volleyball team welcome their new neighbors? With a block party.
Why did the volleyball player cross the street? There were players on the other side.
You shouldn't wear glasses when playing football...
They say it's a contact sport.
The perfect name for a pig that plays basketball is a ball hog.
Why are nuns such great sprint runners?
'Cause they're used to being chaste.
Which superstar has a nose for the puck? Mario the Magsniffascent.
Hope you’re wide open on [date].
Bowlers pay a lot of money to play. This is because it is a bum per lane.
Jokes are a lot like American football.
If you haven't gotten anywhere with the first three tries, you'll need to rely on your punner.
In the history of bowling, there is one bowler who floats like a butterfly and stings pretty much like a bee. His name is Muhammad Alley.
Why’s it always hot after a football game?
All the fans left.
Join us for plenty of play action.
Softball is just like baseball
Except the tactics seem more underhanded.
Who wrote the fantasy novel How To Be A Better Baseball Player?
Ben Schwarmer.
An orange and an apple signed up for a tournament. No one was surprised to find out they were both seeded.
What should you wear when you play against the National Volleyball Team? Football helmets.
Why can't tomatoes ever beat lettuce in a race?
Because lettuce is always a head, and tomatoes have to ketchup!
I’d like to throw away my old can, but my pusher friend here says he loves junk balls.
What did the fishermen say to the fish that swam away? "You bass-tard!"
The chicken got sent off in the middle of the match because of their persistent fowl play.
hat do you call it when a runner from Moscow starts a race at Red Square that ends in Finland?
Russian to the Finnish.
You cannot strike it, if you don’t try it.
What do you say when your dad wears a speedo to the pool?
Spee-don’t!
Soviet goaltenders got their hair cut at Vladislav's Tress-shack.
[Pool Noodle] That’s using your noodle!