Why is a Tornado the best type of football player?
Because it always gets touchdowns.
Why are street thugs so good at basketball?
Because they know how to shoot, steal, and run.
Why did the barber win the race?
He took a short cut!
They call me Ace, because you just got served.
Mary didn’t miss a first serve the entire match. It was not her fault she lost.
Ski Area Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, I bet this chair lift weighs enough to break the ice.
Which cool rapper recreates at Aspen Snomass?
Ice Ski.
I made a snap decision to watch football today
The bowling solder decided to launch a pre-emptive strike.
What country do marathoners retire to?
Iran.
We’re calling your number.
If fish lived on land, in which country would they live? Finland.
If you golf on election day…
Be sure to cast an absent-tee ballot.
The refs kept calling interference, even though goalmouth incidents were in
de-crease.
The winning home run didn't surprise the hitter. He did it all without batting an eye.The baseball player loved his treadmill and all the home runs.
Why don't baseball players join unions?
They don't like to be called out on strike.
Do you believe this? All soccer players, irrespective of their country of origin, have one goal.
It feels great to hit the ball again. It spin a long time.
What did the fishermen say to the fish that swam away? "You bass-tard!"
Which superstar has a nose for the puck? Mario the Magsniffascent.
The moto of their school bowling team was ‘let’s knock em down’.
What do you call a guy who can't stop running along the beach?
Joggernaut.
If ten zombies run after you, what time is it?
Ten after one.
Why did the blonde skier only wear one boot?
Channel 7's weatherman said there was a 50% chance of snow.
Why did the baseball team recruit a tiny ghost?
Because they needed a little team spirit.
[Chips] This is what I call a chip shot.
Why wasn't the jogger all that bummed out when his girlfriend broke up with him?
'Cause they had a good run.
The best holiday for you to go bowling is thanksgiving because you will get turkeys.
I got so mad at my partner hitting moonballs, I had to pusher off the court.
Where do point guards take their dates to party after the game?
To a basket ball.
Jack has a large neck so he decided to wear a bowtie to his wedding. Otherwise, he’d end up with a tiebreak.
Away from their official duties, soccer players love dancing at a soccer ball.
What did the bowling pins do?
They went on strike.
What do volleyball players like in bed? Kinky sets.
Did you hear about the battery and the volleyball who got into a fight? The volleyball is waiting to go to church and the battery was charged.
I almost brought a screwdriver to the football game, but was stopped by security
They said that match-fixing isn't allowed.
What do you call it when you've choked on water while jogging every morning this week?
The worst running gag ever.
Staying humble thanks to that fumble
Football pitches are almost always so wet. This is because soccer players dribble a lot.
Where do baseball players wash up?
In the bat tub.
What stat do the Miami Dolphins lead every single year?
All Porpoise Yardage!
Why was the football pitch a triangle?
Because someone took a corner
What did they give former Flyers left-winger Brian when he successfully
bulked up? Massive Propps.
I’ve been getting blitzed all game.
I used to hate tennis, but ever since I’ve started winning 6-0, I love it now.
What kind of insect is bad at football?
A fumble-bee.
What did the player on the Bumblebee basketball team say after making a foul shot?
Hive Scored!
When your putt lips out, what disease do you have?
Liprocy.
Everyone is getting so paranoid, and diving into conspiracy theories lately...
Must be something in the water.
Did you hear about the Heisman Trophy candidate who falsified his rushing stats?
The yards were stacked in his favor!