If you do bowling and for some reason you can’t hear a pin drop, something could be wrong with your bowling.
Why was the mummy added to the game as a pinch hitter?
Because the manager knew he could wrap it up.
How can you tell a vampire likes baseball? Every night he turns into a bat.
Why did the blonde run backward?
She wanted to gain weight.
Which cool rapper recreates at Aspen Snomass?
Ice Ski.
Which LA King was the total package? Parcel Dionne.
Is your nickname cream cheese? Because you’re about to get bageled.
Why did the blonde volleyball player end up getting fired from her waitressing job? Someone said she needed to serve the food.
If the wooden face mask was popularized by Jacques Plante, was the wooden
cup made popular by Jock Plank?
What it is it called if you refuse to go running today?
Resistance Training!
Why couldn't the garden gnome run in the marathon?
Because he's not part of the human race!
What did the baseball glove say to the ball?
Catch ya later.
Calm before the score
Don’t get me wrong, I love our soccer team. However, in sharp contrast to the albatross, our team doesn’t have two decent wings.
Where can you find a golfer on a Saturday night?
Clubbing.
Why is it annoying to eat next to basketball players?
They dribble all the time.
What's the difference between a sorority girl and a bowling ball?
You can only fit 3 fingers in a bowling ball.
Football is one habit I will never kick.
My moment in the sun.
A team may be talented, but there is no substitute to this, no train no gain!
Spending time at the pool really floats my boat.
The winning home run didn't surprise the hitter. He did it all without batting an eye.The baseball player loved his treadmill and all the home runs.
What do you get if you cross a baseball pitcher and a carpet?
A throw rug.
Today I donated my old basketball hoop to a school for the blind.
It will be missed.
Is your eyesight as bad as your cell phone reception? Because that was a terrible call.
How did the blind guy from Denver enjoy a bit of apres skiing on Lookout Mountain during the last white-out?
He brought along his skiing-eye dog.
What's the greatest problem facing Poland?
The four-ten split.
What type of noodles do swimmers like best?
Pool noodles!
What has 18 legs, spits a lot, and catches flies?
A baseball team.
Why was the nice guy such a lousy baseball player?
Because he never got to home base.
Why did the volleyball player not want to travel? Because he had been there and dug that.
I’m never board when I’m at the pool.
Why are fish so smart Because they swim in schools!
Which author is anxious to write the book: Colorado Rockies, World Series Champs?
Ben Whayten.
What swims in the sea, carries a machine gun, and makes you an offer you can't refuse? The Codfather
Everyone wondered why Cinderella was such a bad player. If only they knew, her coach was a pumpkin.
Why do the blondes prefer to have se* instead of bowling?
The balls are lighter, and you don't have to change shoes.
I know my shot was in. But I won’t argue, because I’m not up for the challenge.
The ref keeps shafting us the offsides; I think he's blue lyin'.
The best holiday for you to go bowling is thanksgiving because you will get turkeys.
What do baseball players eat their backyard BBQ on?
Home plates.
We’re calling your number.
Ski Area Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, want me to jump off this chairlift for you? 'Cause I think I could fall for you.
Why did the skier from Helsinki dominate the downhill slalom competition?
He led the race from start to Finnish.
What are the rules in zebra baseball?
Three stripes, and you're out.
What do the guys at the ski repair shop eat their lunch on?
Baseplates.
Why was the wheelchair basketball team banned from the Paralympics?
They all tested positive for WD-40.
I feel tail great!
If you golf on election day…
Be sure to cast an absent-tee ballot.
Why can you never use a serve receive pattern against a sniper? They’d all start running for cover.