Tennis is a lot like waiting tables. The most important thing to get right is the first serve.
A guy walks into the bar.
It's hardly surprising he didn't make the steeplechase team, on reflection.
Why do stoner tourists spend so much money while on a skiing holiday at Aspen?
Because they're high rollers!
Do baseball players ever wear armor?
Only during knight games.
What's the greatest problem facing Poland?
The four-ten split.
Why don't baseball players join unions?
They don't like to be called out on strike.
Why do blind people hate diving?
It scares the hell out of their dogs.
There are many grounds religious children can practice their soccer skills. However, most of them love the prayground.
If an Octopus were to play football, how many tackles per game would an Octopus have?
Tentacles
What type of stroke does a classical musician use when swimming?
The Bach stroke!
We all sat by the fireplace listening to the basketballer’s story. At some point, I found it unbelievable. It was such a tall tale!
I wish they’d change the scoring system, but tennis is set in its ways and doesn’t see the point.
How do recreational league baseball players stay so cool?
They sit among their fans.
Ed Belfour's new contract offer isn't high compared to other goal tenders.
Why did the baseball team recruit a tiny ghost?
Because they needed a little team spirit.
What's the best advice to give to a young baseball player?
If you don't suceed at first, try second base.
Why did the ski instructor ask for a divorce?
He found out his wife is a real flake.
You can never get short balls over the net! Solution: Drop shot from arsenal.
Poor white splash.
What do police officers do when they are on the volleyball court? They serve and protect.
Why can’t a car play football?
Because it only has one boot.
You can’t possibly play soccer in the amazon jungle because there are far too many cheetahs.
Get in the swim this summer.
What type of films should players watch to improve their shot? Slap stick.
Would Gretzky have changed his name in order to play in Mexico?
Yes, The Great Juan did what it takes.
What do you call a boat full of polite football players?
A good sportsman ship
Why should you you stand on the service line? So that you can order ice cream.
I like my matches like my tennis balls: Pressureless.
I went to my girlfriend's soccer match for the first time last weekend. She kept grabbing the ball with her hands.
She's a keeper.
How did the octopuses win the football match?
Ten tackles
What is a volleyball player’s favorite drink? Sets on the Beach.
The reason why bowling alleys are so quiet is such that you can hear a pin drop.
I went to Oxford University, where I was a philosophy major and the starting goalkeeper on the football team.
They called me Soccertes.
We’re calling your number.
I am disappointed that you are taking such a closed-stance on my footwork advice.
Did you hear that Notre Dame gave up four interceptions last week?
Knute Rockne would turnover in his grave!
Why did the ski instructor's love life always go downhill? The first thing the ladies noticed about him was his giant slalom.
Why did the blonde skier cut a hole near the top of her boyfriend's ski parka?
She wanted to give him the cold shoulder.
I know my shot was in. But I won’t argue, because I’m not up for the challenge.
The favorite soccer position for ghosts is the ghoul keeper.
Volleyball is air affair. This would be a good motto for your team.
Why did the volleyball player cross the street? There was a team member bar tending who could serve spiked drinks.
Did you hear the joke about the pop fly? Oh, nevermind. It was over your head...
Did you hear about the fumbled exorcism? The guy retained possession!
What is a cyclops' favorite winter activity?
Sking. That's like skiing, but only with one eye.
Birds too love cheering on their soccer teams. They egg them on.
What is the fastest fish in the water? A motopike
Why is a Tornado the best type of football player?
Because it always gets touchdowns.
Are you still wondering why the basketball player could listen to his music? Don’t you know he broke a record!
Why is Cinderella bad at football?
Because she’s always running away from the ball.