Why was the nice guy such a lousy baseball player?
Because he never got to home base.
What are a golfer’s favorite flowers?
Fore-get-me-nots.
What did the marathoner do after he won the race?
He decided to go into politics and run for office.
What do you call 2 Mexicans playing tennis?
Juan on Juan!
Cold Ski Pun of the Day: I'm tired of slalom skiing. Alpine over another telemark now.
Chairlift Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, is it really windy up here, or are you just blowing me away?
What are the rules in zebra baseball?
Three stripes, and you're out.
What it is it called if you refuse to go running today?
Resistance Training!
What type of football player is the biggest drug addict?
The lineman.
I hate when I have to stop scuba diving
If makes me deep-pressed
Why did the other volleyball team bow? Because they heard that the queens of the court were there.
Did you hear the joke about the pop fly? Oh, nevermind. It was over your head...
Why don't baseball players join unions?
They don't like to be called out on strike.
When is an MLB ballpark the hottest?
After all the fans have left.
The crowd had filled up the venue and everyone was waiting for the bowling alley to open. Finally, they got the ball rolling.
Why did the volleyball players line up from shortest to tallest? The coach wanted the team to switch from a 5-1 line up to a 6-2.
What happened to the skier who was injured the the top of the peak?
It's been all downhill from there.
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan.
Why did the uncouth spud not stop talking during the football game?
Because he was a common-tater.
Why was the football pitch a triangle?
Because someone took a corner
Finally, the soccer ball decided to quit the team. The reason behind its move was that it was tied of being kicked around.
What do apres-ski participants in white-out blizzard conditions eat for lunch?
Icebergers. BRR!
Which author is anxious to write the book: Colorado Rockies, World Series Champs?
Ben Whayten.
What did the football player say to his Chinese son
Go Long!
Why are Scandinavians the fastest runners in the world?
Because they start out near the Finnish line.
What should you do when you play volleyball against a team of satanists? You beat the hell out of them.
Why couldn't the warden decide whether to allow the prison football team play the professional football team?
The idea had its pros and cons.
Scuba diving is a good hobby... if you wanna hit rock bottom.
What does a runner lose after winning the race?
His breath.
If ten zombies run after you, what time is it?
Ten after one.
We all sat by the fireplace listening to the basketballer’s story. At some point, I found it unbelievable. It was such a tall tale!
What do you call a Spanish football player with no legs?
Gracias.
What swims in the sea, carries a machine gun, and makes you an offer you can't refuse? The Codfather
[Drink] That’s a thirst down!
If you happen to knock down all the pins, don’t be overly excited. Spare us the details.
How do crazy runners go through the forest?
They take the psychopath!
Which is the bar downtown that soccer players hate striking on? Crossbar.
Who's got a penchant for spearing? Pronger!
Where do Danish players aim with the puck? Top kroner.
Who was the fastest runner of all time?
Adam. He was the first in the human race.
The target in soccer is to kick it where it counts.
What happens if the Grim Reaper spikes the ball? You have to dig your own grave.
I’m icing the kicker – and by kicker, I mean beer.
What do volleyball players like in bed? Kinky sets.
What's the greatest problem facing Poland?
The four-ten split.
Though it sounds mean, a bad soccer team is much like an old bra. It has no cups and minimal support.
If you make a mistake of playing basketball with pigs, they will hog the ball.
Why shouldn't you hire a volleyball player to be your bartender?
The service may be excellent, but he'll try to spike all the drinks.
Before they go out to a basketball game, all cheerleaders down several bottles of root beer.