Our game is as tight as our spandex. This would be an awesome team motto.
What did his wife give the guy when he came home all sweaty from his run?
The stink eye.
A man named Martin Draw was campaigning for the Senate. He printed up shirts saying “I’m with Draw” to support his campaign. The next day, he wore the shirt to a tennis tournament. When he walked up to the tournament desk, the director handed him his money back and asked him why he couldn’t play.
Why’s it always hot after a football game?
All the fans left.
How do snowboarders introduce themselves when they meet somebody on the slopes?
Sorry Dude.
What do you call a fish whith a car? A carfish!
I'm currently dating a famous soccer player. He's so loving and caring towards me.
He's a keeper.
Which hulking left-winger could body-slam The Giant? Dave Andre-chuck.
How did the serve know when the bad serve was not with the hand? The server knew it was the foot fault.
Where does a fish keep his money In the River Bank!
What do you call a free treadmill?
The Great Outdoors.
Opposing coaches facing the Leafs in the 60s and 70s knew that Dave was the
one to Keon.
I prefer the new system to reviewing line calls. When Hawk-eye came around, I breathed a big Cy-clops of relief.
I had a girlfriend that went scuba diving...
One day I lobster and never flounder again.
Why did the kicker finally decide to marry his high school sweetheart?
She was a fair catch!
Why did the baseball player decide to shut down his website?
It just wasn't getting any hits.
There is a specific type of cats who love to go bowling. They are known as alley cats.
Why can't basketball players go on vacation?
They aren't allowed to travel.
Some call them opponents. We call them victims. It sounds like you have the right mindset to succeed on the court!
What is the difference between a Yankees fan and a dentist?
One roots for the Yanks, and the other yanks for the roots. OUCH.
Why do blind people hate diving?
It scares the hell out of their dogs.
Why can’t a fish every play volleyball? They are afraid of the net.
Skier: Doc, I think I'm addicted to skiing at Loveland Ski Are
Shrink: You may be going down a slippery slope. Do you feel a divide?
How are a volleyball coach and a dentist similar? They both use drills.
Which local sportswriters are most effusive? Those who work in the praise
box!
Why do stoner tourists spend so much money while on a skiing holiday at Aspen?
Because they're high rollers!
Everyone is getting so paranoid, and diving into conspiracy theories lately...
Must be something in the water.
Went on a diving trip with strangers and found a sunken vessel. We're all pitching in to salvage and rebuild it.
I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friend-ship.
Have you ever played quiet tennis?
It's just like regular tennis but without the racket.
What is a golfer’s favorite bird?
Any birdie will do.
The walls in this tennis factory are so thin, that when I try to get some work done, all I hear is people making a racquet.
What did the skiier say when his standup act was going downhill fast?
There snow possible way these puns could be more painful.
Did Cyclops the X-man play hockey? Yes, he enjoyed lasing up the skates.
Where do fish sleep? In a river bed
They say I’m too indecisive to be a tennis umpire
but I still haven’t ruled it out.
What's the difference between a sorority girl and a bowling ball?
You can only fit 3 fingers in a bowling ball.
At the end of the year, there is always a rock n’ bowl concert where everyone gets entertained.
Why do you need six players to carry the volleyball to the game? No one can carry the volleyball and a whole team.
Can linesmen enter the Hall of Fame? Yes, because they decide who's HOFside.
Why was the marathon runner plucked out of the race and taken away to jail?
For resisting a rest.
Why did the volleyball player join the marines? To serve our country.
I went deep sea diving and a mollusk wanted to give me a hug!
Damn cuddlefish.
The best holiday for you to go bowling is thanksgiving because you will get turkeys.
What do you call a very slow skier?
A slope-poke.
Birds too love cheering on their soccer teams. They egg them on.
If fish lived on land, in which country would they live? Finland.
If you doubt whether bowling is a sport, get it from me, that yes, it is a sport, but for people who have talent to spare.
I’m not a bad putter…
I just can’t catch a break.
The team’s star basketball player decided to remain at home the entire weekend. He didn’t want to be called out for travelling.
Why was the potato fired from his job at the football stadium?
He was a horrible commentater.