Why is Cinderella bad at soccer?
Because she’s always running away from the ball.
Who was the fastest runner of all time?
Adam. He was the first in the human race.
Why did the volleyball player get sent to jail? Because he was set up.
What did the mitt say to the baseball?
Hey baby, you're quite a catch.
Our game is as tight as our spandex. This would be an awesome team motto.
When she saw all the madness around her, March said, “what’s all that bracket”.
What is the difference between a catfish and a lawyer? One is a bottom-dwelling, scum-sucking scavenger and the other is a fish!
Scuba diving is a good hobby... if you wanna hit rock bottom.
The chicken got sent off in the middle of the match because of their persistent fowl play.
I may not be the biggest football fan, but I love tight ends.
This is one spray-cation to remember.
Why don't skeletons ski the black diamond runs at Copper Mountain?
They've got soul, but they just don't have the heart for it.
Which basketball team is the favorite at the North Pole?
The New York Old Saint Knicks.
Where do players hide their marijuana?
Between the stash marks.
Did Cyclops the X-man play hockey? Yes, he enjoyed lasing up the skates.
o my friend Justin was late for the football game.
But that’s okay because he arrived Justin time for kickoff.
What do you call 2 Mexicans playing tennis?
Juan on Juan!
Is it ad-out again? I’m going to hit my breaking point.
What happened when the football coach’s dog ran onto the field during a game?
He got called for ineligible retriever down field!
What do you call a winged insect that hits home runs?
A fly swatter.
What’s the difference between a punter and punster?
A punster gets his kicks with bad puns like these!
What do you call a very slow skier?
A slope-poke.
What sport does the Koolaid man play?
Baseball. He's a pitcher.
What time should I book the court? Let’s shoot for around tennish.
In Quebec they used to practise throwing the puck in the zone, and then
sitting back to wait for a turnover. But eventually the players were
criticized for this dump-and-chaise tactic.
The best holiday for you to go bowling is thanksgiving because you will get turkeys.
"What are your thoughts on diving?"
"Well, I guess it's descent as a hobby."
Why are volleyball players always so blameless? They always pass the blame and try to avoid faults.
What do baseball players eat at White Castle?
Sliders.
Why did the football coach attempt to destroy the vending machine?
Cuz it wouldn't give him his quarterback.
What type of noodles do swimmers like best?
Pool noodles!
The target in soccer is to kick it where it counts.
I’m a baseliner and I don’t know how to volley: my game would disappear if I went to no-man’s land.
Why did the volleyball player cross the street? There was a team member bar tending who could serve spiked drinks.
Here’s the game plan: [party details]
With salsa, cheese dip, and guac, our bowl game is hot.
Why did the volleyball player join the marines? To serve our country.
What did the magician say to the fisherman?
"Pick a cod, any cod."
I’m establishing my punning game early today.
Ski Area Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, I bet this chair lift weighs enough to break the ice.
The coddled superstar sat in the seats with the fans instead of on the bench
with the team; for this, ironically enough, he was accused of grandstanding!
How can you tell a vampire likes baseball? Every night he turns into a bat.
What might folks in Tokyo find between Godzilla's toes?
Slow runners.
I used to hate tennis, but ever since I’ve started winning 6-0, I love it now.
What do skiers get if they sit in the snow for too long?
Polaroids!
What do Walter Payton and Luke Skywalker have in common?
They both did great with a hand off!
The success in this sport is not how you bowl, but how you roll.
What do you call a horse that is good at football?
Neighhhhh-mar.
Why wasn’t the little pumpkin allowed to swim?
There was no life gourd on duty!
Did you hear about the Heisman Trophy candidate who falsified his rushing stats?
The yards were stacked in his favor!
It feels great to hit the ball again. It spin a long time.