The perfect description of a bowling game is one where there is plenty of room at the top, but no room to lie down.
Why are Scandinavians the fastest runners in the world?
Because they start out near the Finnish line.
I started watching soccer because I could see it’s very relevant to my life.
Little to no goals.
I may not be the biggest football fan, but I love tight ends.
What did the marathoner do after he won the race?
He decided to go into politics and run for office.
[Beer] This is my number one draft pick.
Get in the swim this summer.
Why were the volleyball players always tying in tic tac toe? Each time one of them sets an X, the other player just says O.
What is the fastest fish in the water? A motopike
Before they go out to a basketball game, all cheerleaders down several bottles of root beer.
The crowd had filled up the venue and everyone was waiting for the bowling alley to open. Finally, they got the ball rolling.
Why do volleyball players love to swim? They like diving in the deep and then floating in the shallow.
What is a bird that flies over a football field called?
A fieldgull.
My moment in the sun.
Why can’t a fish every play volleyball? They are afraid of the net.
What did the swimming pool say to the skimmer?
Leaf me alone!
Where's the weak spot on a Scottish goalie? The fief hole.
The game of golf is 90-percent mental…
And 10-percent mental.
We all sat by the fireplace listening to the basketballer’s story. At some point, I found it unbelievable. It was such a tall tale!
Are you still wondering why the basketball player could listen to his music? Don’t you know he broke a record!
Bowlers pay a lot of money to play. This is because it is a bum per lane.
What does a runner lose after winning the race?
His breath.
Golf is what you play…
When you’re too out of shape to play softball.
Which fish can perform operations? A Sturgeon!
Which commandment do baseball players hate the most? Thou shall not steal.
When you go with an army general onto a bowling alley, he will start bowling even before you enter his name on the scoreboard.
Did you hear about the Owl that could play American football?
It was a superb_owl.
Why can't tomatoes ever beat lettuce in a race?
Because lettuce is always a head, and tomatoes have to ketchup!
The perfect name for a pig that plays basketball is a ball hog.
Why do the ladies love baseball?
Because diamonds are a girl's best friend.
This pool is impressive. Or should I say swim-pressive?
Why can’t I ever win a game returning serve? Give me a break.
Where do football players go shopping in the offseason? The tackle shop.
What is a cyclops' favorite winter activity?
Sking. That's like skiing, but only with one eye.
Football is one habit I will never kick
When I got my first job at the bowling alley, I was only tenpin.
Why don't baseball players join unions?
They don't like to be called out on strike.
How many Winter Park ski instructors does it take to change a light bulb?
Three. One to screw it in, and two to say, "Nice Turns, Nice Turns!"
Why don't skeletons ski the black diamond runs at Copper Mountain?
They've got soul, but they just don't have the heart for it.
Which violation do ghosts get called for the most in basketball?
Ghoul tending.
I tried to start a soccer club so I put up some posters on a local bulletin board.
Just to get the ball rolling.
What do you call heels on ski boots?
Ski lifts.
Why did the old man hate living next to the tennis courts?
He couldn't stand all the racket!
What did one hillbilly say to another? I got a new fly rod and reel for my wife. Best trade I ever made.
The best place on earth to shop for soccer kits is New Jersey.
We’re trying to pool off the party of the summer.
Why did Tarzan spend so much time on the golf course?
He was perfecting his swing
Footballers love one specific type of tea; penal-tea.
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan.
We had an argument on our way back from the tournament. Our position is that their goal was stopping ours.