Why are Scandinavians the fastest runners in the world?
Because they start out near the Finnish line.
Why should you you stand on the service line? So that you can order ice cream.
Why didn’t the golfer get his homework done?
He wouldn’t stop puttering around.
Went to a game with my dad today and as we were standing up to sing, the veteran in him kicked in and he began tearing up. I said to him, "You know, technically, national anthems are just…
…country music."
I hate when I have to stop scuba diving
If makes me deep-pressed
What did they call Dracula after his team won the big game?
The Champire.
Why did the baseball team recruit a tiny ghost?
Because they needed a little team spirit.
Why did the kid pursue scuba diving?
Because all his grades are below C-level.
Where do football players go shopping in the offseason? The tackle shop.
Football pitches are almost always so wet. This is because soccer players dribble a lot.
Why do you need six players to carry the volleyball to the game? No one can carry the volleyball and a whole team.
The injured player wanted to congratulate the winner, but he couldn’t walkover to the other side of the court.
Why did the pirate captain want to hire a baseball player?
He knew he had a chest protector.
Why do golfers hate cake?
Because they might get a slice.
In the history of bowling, there is one bowler who floats like a butterfly and stings pretty much like a bee. His name is Muhammad Alley.
Why did the skier from Helsinki dominate the downhill slalom competition?
He led the race from start to Finnish.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Eyesore.
Eyesore who?
Eyesore from my long run—can we take the elevator?
When the pitch is flooded, soccer players can still go on. They just need to bring on their subs.
Why did the fish cross the road? Cause it was hooked!
What do you get if cross a baseball player and a monster?
A double header.
The only ship that has never docked on their harbor is the premiership.
What do you call a woman standing in the middle of a tennis court?
Anette.
Why couldn't the skeleton play football?
He didn't have the guts.
Some call them opponents. We call them victims. It sounds like you have the right mindset to succeed on the court!
What is a defensive football players favorite dessert?
Apple Turnover.
Why can’t a car play football?
Because it only has one boot.
What do you call a fish whith a car? A carfish!
If somebody says "You pitch great for a southpaw," is that a left-handed compliment?
Are you still wondering why the basketball player could listen to his music? Don’t you know he broke a record!
What is the difference between a fish and a piano? You can't tuna fish.
I want to play my match outdoors so I can hit the ball higher in the air. I’m not good at persuading people, so I’m going to hire a lob-byist.
I can’t believe I framed the ball in for a winner. Shank you!
Why did the volleyball player join the marines? To serve our country.
Djokovic to his friends the morning after winning the U.S. Open: Is anyone hungry for some Denny’s? Because I would like another Grand Slam.
What do you call a giant that's good at football?
Goaliath.
After the Moroccan scored a Hat-trick, the players gathered for the fez-off.
I hate scuba diving.
It was the lowest moment of my life.
Why did Tarzan spend so much time on the golf course?
He was perfecting his swing
Why are spiders such great volleyball players? Because they have an amazing topspin.
Bowlers pay a lot of money to play. This is because it is a bum per lane.
What happens if the Grim Reaper spikes the ball? You have to dig your own grave.
The crowd had filled up the venue and everyone was waiting for the bowling alley to open. Finally, they got the ball rolling.
A guy walks into the bar.
It's hardly surprising he didn't make the steeplechase team, on reflection.
Why did the football coach attempt to destroy the vending machine?
Cuz it wouldn't give him his quarterback.
This is one spray-cation to remember.
Why can you never use a serve receive pattern against a sniper? They’d all start running for cover.
Where does a fisherman go to get his hair cut?
The fisherman goes to a bobber shop!
I tried to start a soccer club so I put up some posters on a local bulletin board.
Just to get the ball rolling.
How does a volleyball team welcome their new neighbors? With a block party.
They say that volleyball is just mind over matter. Because in our minds, you don’t matter.