What stat do the Miami Dolphins lead every single year?
All Porpoise Yardage!
Why do the ladies love baseball?
Because diamonds are a girl's best friend.
Why did the uncouth spud not stop talking during the football game?
Because he was a common-tater.
The anti-vax basketball team lost every game this season
Apparently they never take any shots.
Pack your trunks – we’re having a pool party!
What did the bad soccer announcer get for Christmas?
COOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What does a basketball player say when he misses?
Shoot!
Why do volleyball players love to swim? They like diving in the deep and then floating in the shallow.
What do baseball players eat at White Castle?
Sliders.
Mary didn’t miss a first serve the entire match. It was not her fault she lost.
The football won’t be the only thing spiked at this party.
What do you call a winged insect that hits home runs?
A fly swatter.
Why did the skier from Helsinki dominate the downhill slalom competition?
He led the race from start to Finnish.
What does a hunter do with a basketball?
He shoots it.
It is not really much about how you bowl, but instead how you roll.
Why don't skeletons ski the black diamond runs at Copper Mountain?
They've got soul, but they just don't have the heart for it.
There is no glory in practice, but without practice there can be no glory. This volleyball pun is very inspirational. For you to do your best, you have to be willing to practice.
[Beer] This is my number one draft pick.
What’s a Movers favorite football team?
The Packers!
A knife tried out for Varsity football.
It didn't make the cut.
And yes, gnomes are always trying to get to first base with the ladies.
My girlfriend left me because all I do is talk about football.
I'm so sad, we were together for 3 seasons.
Skier: Doc, I think I'm addicted to skiing at Loveland Ski Are
Shrink: You may be going down a slippery slope. Do you feel a divide?
Why did Tarzan spend so much time on the golf course?
He was perfecting his swing
Ski Area Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, do you believe in love at first sight, or should I go around this chairlift again?
Why did the volleyball players line up from shortest to tallest? The coach wanted the team to switch from a 5-1 line up to a 6-2.
But would they be stoned by the goalie?
No, they'd smoke it right between the pipes!
What do you call a girl who is standing directly in the middle of the court? Annette.
You cannot strike it, if you don’t try it.
Why don't skeletons play baseball?
Because they don't have the heart for it.
What do you call a Sith Lord who likes to go fishing? Darth Wader.
I used to have a scuba diving business
But it went under.
A tennis ball walks into a bar.
The bar man asks: “have you been served?”
Basketball players make good husbands. They never shoot their wives.
The perfect name for a pig that plays basketball is a ball hog.
Everyone wondered why Cinderella was such a bad player. If only they knew, her coach was a pumpkin.
How many middle-hitters do you need to screw in a light bulb? Only one, but the the setter has to put it perfectly in their hand first.
Which superstar has a nose for the puck? Mario the Magsniffascent.
Which author is anxious to write the book: Colorado Rockies, World Series Champs?
Ben Whayten.
Why can't Bill Clinton go scuba diving?
He won't inhale.
What game do some skiers like to play on the road trip to the slopes?
Ice Spy With My Little Ice.
All punts are highly intended
An orange and an apple signed up for a tournament. No one was surprised to find out they were both seeded.
I like my breakfast like my tennis grip: Continental.
Native Americans used to have their own professional tennis tournaments, and provided free housing to players from other tribes. They called it the A Tee Pee Tour. (No disrespect to Native Americans!)
What did the mathematician do at the baseball game?
Square root for the home team.
Two racquets started dating. Unfortunately, one was stringing the other along without any intention of tying the knot.
What do you call a horse that is good at football?
Neighhhhh-mar.
What does a volleyball player do when they go to prom? They spike the punch.
I like my matches like my tennis balls: Pressureless.