Where did the Flopper work in the offseason? At Dominik's Hat-Check.
I’d like to throw away my old can, but my pusher friend here says he loves junk balls.
How do ski instructors get to work?
By icicle.
Football is one habit I will never kick.
An orange and an apple signed up for a tournament. No one was surprised to find out they were both seeded.
What's the greatest problem facing Poland?
The four-ten split.
What is the difference between a ball hog and time?
Time passes.
The only time a basketball team can chase a baseball team is five after nine.
You can forget about winning, princess. Because even Cinderella can’t get to this ball.
Native Americans used to have their own professional tennis tournaments, and provided free housing to players from other tribes. They called it the A Tee Pee Tour. (No disrespect to Native Americans!)
What’s the easiest shot in golf?
Your fourth putt.
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan.
Why did the fish cross the road? Cause it was hooked!
Pick-up line: You might as well play be a tennis player, because I’m about to court you girl.
What did the mitt say to the baseball?
Hey baby, you're quite a catch.
What happens if you read too many Painful baseball Puns?
You're left in stitches.
What does Darth Vader say when he plays volleyball? May the spike be with you.
What did the player on the Bumblebee basketball team say after making a foul shot?
Hive Scored!
What are a golfer’s favorite flowers?
Fore-get-me-nots.
This summer is going swimmingly.
Softball is just like baseball
Except the tactics seem more underhanded.
How do you communicate with a fish? Drop it a line!
What do volleyball players like in bed? Kinky sets.
Why did Tarzan spend so much time on the golf course?
He was perfecting his swing
Did I tell you about my new girlfriend who also plays football?
Yeah.. she‘s a keeper
Why was the criminal dubbed the Beer Runner let go after being arrested for stealing 23 beers?
'Cause the prosecutors didn't have a case.
Scrambled eggs are similar to a losing basketball team because both are beaten.
I’m icing the kicker – and by kicker, I mean beer.
Which position does the son of Dracula play on the baseball team?
Bat boy.
Why didn’t the golfer get his homework done?
He wouldn’t stop puttering around.
What do you call it when you've choked on water while jogging every morning this week?
The worst running gag ever.
What kind of insect is bad at football?
A fumble-bee.
Why did the blonde skier cut a hole near the top of her boyfriend's ski parka?
She wanted to give him the cold shoulder.
What is the worst advice a coach could ever give to a nude volleyball team? Play hard.
Why don't orphans make good baseball players?
Because they don't know where home is.
I like my breakfast like my tennis grip: Continental.
The last time I wanted to go bowling, all the pins were on strike. So I just stayed at home and watched TV instead.
Oh buoy – we’re having a splash bash!
Why did the volleyball player not want to travel? Because he had been there and dug that.
Why wasn’t the little pumpkin allowed to swim?
There was no life gourd on duty!
What is the 7th pin in bowling called? Mother-In-Law!
Which LA King was the total package? Parcel Dionne.
Why did the pirate captain want to hire a baseball player?
He knew he had a chest protector.
I may not be the biggest football fan, but I love tight ends.
Why did the vegetarian stop running cross country?
He did not like the meets.
What did the marathoner do after he won the race?
He decided to go into politics and run for office.
What do Walter Payton and Luke Skywalker have in common?
They both did great with a hand off!
Why should a bowling alley be quiet?
So you can hear a pin drop!
What type of films should players watch to improve their shot? Slap stick.
I applied for a job as an Instructor at a Scuba Diving center. The interviewer wanted to know if I can work well under pressure.