What do you do if a running back swallows the football?
You have to get him to cough it up!
What do you call a Spanish football player with no legs?
Gracias.
If Messier retires he's sure to be moosed.
What did the marathoner do after he won the race?
He decided to go into politics and run for office.
What do you call 2 Mexicans playing tennis?
Juan on Juan!
I have a lot of respect for fans of football teams that consist of only ghosts
They have a lot of spirit.
Jack has a large neck so he decided to wear a bowtie to his wedding. Otherwise, he’d end up with a tiebreak.
There is one commonality between a magician and a soccer player. They both do hat tricks.
The walls in this tennis factory are so thin, that when I try to get some work done, all I hear is people making a racquet.
What did one hillbilly say to another? I got a new fly rod and reel for my wife. Best trade I ever made.
Where does a fish keep his money In the River Bank!
The Montreal baseball team relocated to Tampa after being purchased by the
Exposito bros.
What is a golfer’s worst nightmare?
The Bogeyman.
Are you still wondering why the basketball player could listen to his music? Don’t you know he broke a record!
Why was the potato fired from his job at the football stadium?
He was a horrible commentater.
Why do gnomes like baseball? Gnome Runs.
Do baseball players ever wear armor?
Only during knight games.
The basic rule in the bowling game is to ensure you leave no pin standing.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Eyesore.
Eyesore who?
Eyesore from my long run—can we take the elevator?
Why should you not play volleyball in court? Because you could get arrested.
Before they go out to a basketball game, all cheerleaders down several bottles of root beer.
What did the swimming pool say to the skimmer?
Leaf me alone!
The only time a basketball team can chase a baseball team is five after nine.
Why was the nice guy such a lousy baseball player?
Because he never got to home base.
The guy missed both his serves on match point. I won by de-fault.
I may not be the biggest football fan, but I love tight ends.
What do you call the basketball move where you drink too much alcohol and score?
SlamDrunk!
Mary didn’t miss a first serve the entire match. It was not her fault she lost.
If the wooden face mask was popularized by Jacques Plante, was the wooden
cup made popular by Jock Plank?
What do apres-ski participants in white-out blizzard conditions eat for lunch?
Icebergers. BRR!
What are the favorite video games for basketball players? Shooting stars.
Don’t get me wrong, I love our soccer team. However, in sharp contrast to the albatross, our team doesn’t have two decent wings.
What is a volleyball player’s favorite drink? Sets on the Beach.
What kind of insect is bad at football?
A fumble-bee.
Defeat in soccer is only bitter if you swallow it.
They say that volleyball is just mind over matter. Because in our minds, you don’t matter.
Which basketball team is the favorite at the North Pole?
The New York Old Saint Knicks.
Spending time at the pool really floats my boat.
Where can you find a golfer on a Saturday night?
Clubbing.
If you doubt whether bowling is a sport, get it from me, that yes, it is a sport, but for people who have talent to spare.
Where do ghosts play volleyball at? At the volleyball corpse.
What time should I book the court? Let’s shoot for around tennish.
Why are some umpires fat?
Because they always clean the plate.
If ten zombies run after you, what time is it?
Ten after one.
It is not uncommon for elephants to start a stampede. Especially if they want to play for the Chargers.
Why are fisherman so stingy?
Their jobs make them sel-fish!
When his wife was preparing his favorite chocolate cake, the baseball player said "Batter Up.
When is the course too wet to play golf?
When your golf cart capsizes.
Golfer: The doctor says I can’t play golf.
Caddie: Oh, he’s played with you, too, eh?
Why can't you tell a joke while ice fishing? Because it'll crack you up!.