The bowling solder decided to launch a pre-emptive strike.
Why did the baseball team recruit a tiny ghost?
Because they needed a little team spirit.
The only way athletes can stay cool even in a charged game is by standing near the fans.
It is not uncommon for elephants to start a stampede. Especially if they want to play for the Chargers.
When your putt lips out, what disease do you have?
Liprocy.
Why did the basketball player sign up for a crafting class?
He wanted to learn how to make baskets.
My friend Elmer’s has gotten really good at tennis ever since he stuck to a healthier diet and went glue-ten free.
The basic rule in the bowling game is to ensure you leave no pin standing.
The perfect name for a pig that plays basketball is a ball hog.
Why are some umpires fat?
Because they always clean the plate.
Why shouldn't you hire a volleyball player to be your bartender?
The service may be excellent, but he'll try to spike all the drinks.
Which athlete wrote the book, Jumping for Exercize?
Lee Ping.
Why should you not play volleyball in court? Because you could get arrested.
How are baseball umpires and angry chickens alike?
Both make fowl calls.
Spending time at the pool really floats my boat.
What did the football coach say to the broken vending machine?
Give me my quarter back.
The game of golf is 90-percent mental…
And 10-percent mental.
The injured player wanted to congratulate the winner, but he couldn’t walkover to the other side of the court.
Why did the baseball batter go crazy?
Because the pitcher only threw scewballs.
Everyone wondered why Cinderella was such a bad player. If only they knew, her coach was a pumpkin.
This summer is going swimmingly.
What is American football called in other countries?
30.48 cm ball.
Where do Danish players aim with the puck? Top kroner.
Golf balls are like eggs…
They’re white, they are sold by the dozen, and a week later you have to buy more.
A certain Leafs right-winger was sued by the Louisiana government. He was
Owen N'awlins.
What kind of insect is bad at football?
A fumble-bee.
What do volleyball players like in bed? Kinky sets.
I like my matches like my tennis balls: Pressureless.
My strategy is simple, knocking them down a pin at a time.
Where do spiders play football?
Webley Stadium.
Today I donated my old basketball hoop to a school for the blind.
It will be missed.
What do you do if a running back swallows the football?
You have to get him to cough it up!
Which football playoff team are Star Trek fans rooting for ?
The Green Bay Picards.
What happened when the football coach’s dog ran onto the field during a game?
He got called for ineligible retriever down field!
Why was the criminal dubbed the Beer Runner let go after being arrested for stealing 23 beers?
'Cause the prosecutors didn't have a case.
It feels great to hit the ball again. It spin a long time.
As a Brit, I can't get into American football
They rugby the wrong way.
What did the football player say to the flight attendant?
"Put me in coach."
Golfer: I’d move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course.
Caddie: Try heaven. You’ve already moved most of the earth.
What did the bad soccer announcer get for Christmas?
COOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What should you do when you play volleyball against a team of satanists? You beat the hell out of them.
Who was the fastest runner of all time?
Adam. He was the first in the human race.
Poor white splash.
It is now a universal truth that actions speak louder than coaches.
When she saw all the madness around her, March said, “what’s all that bracket”.
What swims in the sea, carries a machine gun, and makes you an offer you can't refuse? The Codfather
Basketball players manage to remain cool even during tough matches because they stay closer to the fans.
A team may be talented, but there is no substitute to this, no train no gain!
Which superstar has a nose for the puck? Mario the Magsniffascent.
My football teammate asked me, “On a scale of 1-10, how do you rate our after-victory celebration?”
I gave him a high five.